Yesterday I took my mother-in-law (MIL) in for an artirogram and a possible stint. After the procedure was complete it was decided that a stint would do no good and that a quadruple bypass was needed. Without it, she would die. Period. When asked when the surgery needed to be done, the doctor said, “Now, although it should have been done last year with the condition she is in now.” My MIL being the most stubborn and aggravating person I know said “I am so tired and old, just let me die.”

*blink, blink, jaw drops*

First of all, life isn’t a game like Jeopardy. You don’t get to say, “O.K. Alex, I’ll take “Death” for 500.”

Secondly, “old?” I have never seen The Today Show’s birthday spot celebrate anyone in their 70s as being the oldest person in America.

I was less than compassionate and understanding of her choice, as were the rest of her children. Short of beating her with the i.v. pole and sending her wrapped in duct tape to the surgeons, we tried every form of straight talk, tough love and reverse psychology. She just lay in her bed, refusing to listen to what we felt was common sense. I was still eyeballing the i.v. pole though.

Since the surgeons will not operate on a gagged and duct taped patient, she was discharged home. We could only hope that divine intervention would occur and quickly with extreme prejudice.

I went home and after I put the girls to sleep, I sat and shook my head until my equilibrium was off kilter. No matter how bad the vertigo got, I could not understand “why would you choose death when life is offered to you?” Finally the fog began to lift (this was mainly due to the fact that I finally turned on the vent after steaming the bathroom) and I started to really think about it on different terms. How many times in the spiritual world has “death” been chosen over “life” and why? I came to two thoughts on the “why”…fear and doubt. Fear being brought on mostly by not understanding

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. – Marie Curie

Doubt is fed by fear and begins a vicious, unending circle within us. When we doubt what is possible, we begin to fear what seems certain.

Why have a surgery if death seems so close? Death is at least certain. Hoping begins to feel somewhat dangerous and absurd.

Why change your heart and accept forgiveness if you are unlovable and unforgivable?

It’s only when you begin to see the surgery as hope and resolution that it begins to make sense. You will never see this as a solution until you understand exactly what it is.

It’s only when you begin to understand God’s loving nature that you realize that forgiveness and renewal are possible.You will never see this as a solution until you understand God’s promises to us.

Today was a new day and that divine intervention that we had prayed for occurred somewhere around 2a.m. She has now chosen to have the surgery and within the next week will be choosing to live.

“Thanks Alex, I will take LIFE for 500”

Please pray for her, her surgeons and the family as we walk beside her on this new chapter in her life.

Categories: God