As I struggled to stay in place in the strong current and will my body to relax, I realized I was doing it all wrong. This whole blended family. I’m really not sure what I thought, but I was more mincing, dicing and slicing, than blending. It was just one more thing I had been struggling against much like the current in the stream we played in most of the day.
I was messing up, until today and now I get to change things. – *Isn’t that one of the most beautiful graces that we are given. Fresh starts and no obligation to forbid us from diverging on our paths.
OH and I’m going to put this in quotes so you know how important it is….
All of you who dismiss the struggle of blending as a 7 year process and just force us to accept this battle are liars. It blends when you finally quit fighting the current and allow yourself to relax within your family.
Where you told this malarkey?
Do you agree with it?
At first I had this goal that we were going to all (6 children and I) float down the good current stream to the large bridge (about a mile long) I wanted us all together relaxing and doing the “Tom Sawyer” thing.
But I couldn’t get the floats blown up. Not even the 16 yo could and he’s got some massive hot air.
So we set up camp and I tried to involve them all in a coordinated game. It was chaos and they were darting here and there finding things that appealed to them. Certainly not the bonded moment I envisioned.
The 16 yo boy laid flat where the currents actually were strong enough to create a little white water rapids. He told me how amazing it felt, so since I couldn’t get my way, I gave in and laid beside him. I closed my eyes as the water rushed past me and let my ears go underwater so I could hear the sound of the rushing water. It was amazing and so comforting.
I propped myself up for a moment so I could scan the area, because as the mother figure it is my sworn duty to make sure nobody is struggling, picking up a snake or throwing their sibling into an unauthorized baptism. They were scattered and for a moment I felt like hollering (that’s just the Southern in me) for them to all come closer and do a group participation activity.
Then I saw their smiles.
Individually they were all involved in an activity that fed their soul. Whether it was chasing fish, looking for shells that were just perfect, creating the perfect skipped rock. They were fully engulfed in their OWN enjoyment.
That’s when it hit me.
I haven’t been mothering these 6 children. I have been trying to conform them all into one controllable unit. One child. One mission. I was taking away their unique personalities in my desperation to have us functioning perfectly blended.