There is one child raiding my secret stash of Skittles (obviously not secret enough. Mental note: find new hiding spot) because I heard at least 50 Skittles bounce in different directions down the hall.
There is one child doing shots of spray cheese who looks well pleased with her proactive calcium supplement ideas.
WAIT! That’s the only children in the house. Today started a full day for the 4 school age kiddos.
It’s only the two youngest and I (well and the 20 year old who I see from time to time when his laundry needs to be done or he needs food) in the house until 2:30pm.
The noise level is at a lowered decibel of more like a semi-truck race than the usual sitting inside a jet engine playing a drum set to the accompaniment of at least 20 cats screeching.
There were moments that I locked myself in the closet consoling myself with chocolate. There were moments when I clung to my husband when he walked through the door from work and pleaded for him to “Please take me away. Calgon isn’t working!!”
5 different ages but all 6 and under. All with the single mindset of doing something different than what the other kids were doing and establishing dominance over the other kids in a daily WWF challenge of some sort.
I would enforce time-out, force them to hold hands until we could be friends, sprayed down fights with a water hose, placed bets on a winner and finally just went a little mad. Not a far trip for me.
But now it is just two. Two Skittle-eating-cheese fiends. I can do this.
I will probably have the new found freedom of sitting down for more than 2 minutes, but not longer than 5 minutes, because that’s all it takes to complete demolition services. I will be able to prepare lunch and not use a whole loaf of bread or get carpal tunnel just from spreading massive amounts of peanut butter. We can go to the store during the day and not have to fend off the “Field Trip” questions. I might get some writing done without having to lock myself in the bathroom, typing on my little phone.
I did it. I made it through summer. (I would congratulate myself with Skittles, but I don’t feel like combing the floor)
…and frankly…I’m going to sit down now for 3.4 minutes.
Categories: August Diary Entry