Me and my best friend (not actual photo but an artist's rendering)

It’s been a sad, sad weekend. My best friend is gone, moved on to a better place. I am distraught over my loss. I feel empty inside. It happened after the Goldfish cracker incident. One moment we were happily chugging along together, the next moment she coughed, sputtered and after one mechanical sounding “clunk”; she left this world for the farm where all good vacuum cleaners go. I picture her frolicking cord in cord with her dream guy, “Dyson” perhaps they even have a pet Roomba? How am I ever going to run this household and keep it in order without her? I began to search the internet classifieds for a new best friend. Perhaps if like with a dog; I just get one of the same breed again…Nope, they don’t even sell her anymore. I am crushed. I have to start all over again with a new friend of unknown origins. I have looked for two days and have walked away empty handed. The whole house is suffering her passing as the Goldfish and Cheerios begin to pile up. Please take a moment to offer me suggestions about your best friend and what you like about her…

Other than that it has been a pretty uneventful weekend. Since The Man got home, he has helped me take on some of the bigger house keeping tasks such as, pulling the stove out and cleaning underneath and behind it (Yay! I finally found that missing 1 tbsp measuring spoon and two hair barrettes) moving the big furniture out and cleaning behind it (if we are all made of dust, I found a whole other person residing behind the grandfather clock and book cabinet) scrubbed the deck (well, he did this…the girls and I just played in the mud he created) and pressure washed the driveway and brick walk (once again, all him…we were making multi-tiered mud cakes)

Since we were so busy with all the housework, I didn’t cook all weekend and we ordered out and picked up food as needed. Saturday night we picked up food from Famous Dave’s. I really wanted a hamburger and thought that this one was just the one that I wanted

Ultimate BBQ Burger

A juicy ground beef patty beneath a pile of Georgia chopped pork, two strips of jalapeño bacon, melted Cheddar cheese, and our signature Beam & Cola sauce.

It was wonderful, but they neglected to say that the “pile of chopped pork” was about 1 lb of bbq and that the burger itself was about 1lb of beef. When I took apart the Styrofoam box and saw that monster sitting there, I had to just sit and stare at it. I have never in my life seen such an obscene amount of beef or such an obvious statement of gluttony. My man laughed and said that there was no way that I would finish all of it. Uhhh…wrong thing to challenge me on. One hour later and several Pepto Bismals, I was laying in the living room floor groaning in agony. The mother of all belches escaped my lips (the children cheered and the man applauded) and I prayed this as I lie there rubbing my swollen belly…I will order a salad from now on, I will not be challenged into eating something that is bigger than my head and I swear if God makes this pain go away I will do something really grand in my life.

I leave you with a cartoon that I stumbled across and it really fits my life…

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Categories: children