Today my Nana was taken home to the Lord. Although we all knew the day was coming, I don’t think you are ever really ready for it.

Nana was a truly beautiful person. She was the giver and recipient of many blessings on this earth. She spent her life as a server and giver to others. There is much to learn from her days on earth. As a grandmother she was everything a grandchild could ask for. Spoiling you, loving you and rarely saying a harsh word even when you probably had it coming.

As a child and teenager, I watched her give of herself to others. She raised her family, served her husband, visited with shut-ins and people who were hospitalized. She seemed to derive most of her joy from being there for someone else.

I think the lesson that I learned from her life in my adult years, was not a lesson that she taught at all. It was a lesson centered around my mother’s and her relationship.

“Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee,” Exodus 20:12

Over the past several years, I have watched my mother live out that verse. Honoring your mother is something that we throw at children to teach them respect. But what about when you are an adult and your mother is not the same woman you remember? How often do we think about that verse then? How many times do we truly “honor” them? As Nana began retreating more and more inside herself and began to suffer from memory loss and panic attacks, my mother began to have to be her mother’s mother. It was a responsibility that she didn’t shirk but seemed to embrace. Not only did she have to deal with doctors, medications, etc. but she continued weekly to provide Nana with companionship, love and understanding. She became Nana’s constant rock. She showed me what “honoring your mother and father” is really all about. Sure there were days that Nana was mean and grumpy, but Mom always went back with a smile and a prayer for a better day. She continued to show love when no love was shown in return. Even in the hours after Nana has passed on, my mother continued to feel heavy remorse for not being able to “fix it all.” I think that is what broke my heart the most. I want my mother to hear this verse most of all…

Matthew 11:28-30:
“Come unto me, all you who labor and are heavy burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart and you shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

She has been bearing the burden of Nana’s health and happiness for so long. I want her to feel that peace. I want her to know that no matter what she did, how hard she tried; that it was not her place to fix it. She did everything right in God’s eyes. She did not fail her mother in any way. As much of the giver spirit that was in Nana, she would have done nothing less. My mother “honored” her mother.

That’s the lesson that I take away today.

Nana will be missed more than anything. I thank God that he blessed me to have her in my life. I thank Him that we had one more Thanksgiving, one more Christmas, that we celebrated Bug’s 3rd birthday where she could be a part of it. A bright light was extinguished here in earth today, but Heaven will shine a bit brighter from her presence there.

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