Before someone else asks…Yes I dyed my hair. Well, didn’t really dye it but went back to the original color (or as close as I can remember) I had been dying it almost black for a long time because….well, I don’t have a good reason. I think I thought the red was too fad-ish even if mine was naturally auburn. ‘Course the goth look wasn’t too great on me either. So I stripped it down. I did however allow my skunk stripe to stay. I was going to try to match it to the auburn, but really??? I’m not going to try to keep up with it anymore.

So anyways, Project 365. I took this post inside the door way to my studio. The truth behind the picture is that I am feel like I am hovering in the “doorway” of my business. I’ve been taking these bright photographs for so long because it was what was safe for me. Recently I’ve noticed a shift towards low-key and cross processing. I adore the low-key because it is dramatic, but my eye sees the cross processed as washed out. The photograph above has some mild cross processing and I don’t like the effect too much, but I like the portrait as a whole. It works with the pose. I’m trying to step out of my “doorway” and learn new techniques, but its hard to leave what I knew. What felt safe.

It’s like this in all aspects of my life. I tend to cling to what is safe. I’m not a “bungee jumper” in life and I don’t like risks. I take a lot of risks, but never putting something on the table that I can’t stand to lose. Guess that doesn’t make it much of a risk, does it? My oldest daughter is so much like me. I watch her caution towards new things and it kills me because I know she would love the new experience. Yet, I understand. The timidness towards the new, it’s in me too.

So I stand in the doorway trying to take a step into a new light. Because I am “me” I will probably be looking over my shoulder from time to time at what was safe.

Categories: project 365