“I didn’t pick up on the hints for a Valentine gift” This is coming from the man who claims he can tell what a woman is thinking by the way she plays with her hair or holds her drink. First of all, show me the woman who is twirling her hair thinking only “Come and get me big boy” and I will show you a man in drag. Wake up boys, don’t you realize that the hair twirling is actually saying “Well, he’s not that bad, I guess if we were the only two people on earth, I wonder if Jane got my email, I wonder what I am going to wear to work tomorrow, Geez, is he still looking at me, I should have gotten the bigger size of pantyhose, did I set the timer on the coffee pot, he is still looking at me I guess I should give it a shot, good grief, what is this in my hair anyways”

So I figure I will test out this “I can’t pick up on hints” excuse. I go to the bathroom, put on a little lip gloss and go back in the living room and say “I got my legs all shaved” Eureeka, the eyes light up, the lips curl into a sly smile and one eyebrow raises coyly. “Yup, you are busted big boy” The only hint you are catching now is the hint of my lotion past your nose as I pass you and go straight to bed. Alone.

The child on the other hand has been celebrating Valentine’s Day for two weeks straight. Everyday there is a new valentine in the mail and I have been sharing my box of chocolates I secretly bought myself when I bought his card 3 weeks ago. I gave her the new puppy dog covered in hearts and the card I have been reminding him to sign for 2 weeks that still just says “I love you Valentine, From Mommy” I suppose I will scrawl his name on it before I put it in her memory trunk.

When it comes down to true feelings, I know that I am his sweetheart. I really don’t need the material things to prove it. He shows it to me each and every day that he works hard to provide for us, coming up with new strategies for success in our business, being home every night, remembering I only like two ice cubes in my cola, not saying anything about the doll collection in our bedroom, listening to my dreams, supporting my endeavors and comforting my fears. Those other 364 days in the year makes up for the one day he fails at showering me with Hallmark words and mass produced chocolates.

I am thinking that next year I will demand payment up front when I twirl my hair.

Categories: Uncategorized