I was mindlessly shopping in the grocery store when I ran in to her*.
*Her – flawlessly put together in the latest fashion. Each article of clothing perfectly unstained and fitted. Beautifully styled hair framed a face with makeup expertly applied. Her cart contained only the hippest organic food and her smile said she was worth a million bucks.
I had just come from working at the barn and pretty sure my hair resembled the hay I had been tossing. My shirt was wrinkled and had plenty of evidence that I had been around farm animals. Makeup? Oh, that was from the day before and although my right eye looked OK, my left eye was smudged from where I had slept on it. I had a cart full of frozen breakfast foods and some Ho-Hos.
We were both wearing boots though; she took a moment to stop and point that out.
“Oh…I love your boots! How do you find a pair that looks so distressed and worn? I just bought these but I couldn’t find any like that.”
I looked down as her manicured finger pointed at my boots that I use for riding horses and mucking stalls. I looked at her boots that obviously cost several hundred dollars. I am pretty sure I muttered something about them being worn because I actually use them for more than walking, but my words and heart were coated in shame. “I’m not good enough.”
I actually spent the rest of the day mulling over my personal value because of her and her beautiful boots.
You are defined by God and nobody else. He claims you and calls you out as his own (2 Corinthians 1:22)
Boy howdy – I wrestle with this on a daily, hourly and sometimes minute-by-minute basis. Defining myself by my feelings, what others think/say, my failures, my hang-ups, my car with the chicken McNugget under the seat and my boots. The thing is sometimes I do not know WHO I am and that opens me wide up to let all those things define me and really drag me down to a dangerous place.
The place that says if I could just buy those boots, have that car, speak like that person, publish that book or just be someone else….then I will have value, but is that what God has said about me; His own?
Jesus faced nay-sayers, ridicule, hurt and even death and not once was His value diminished. In fact, it grew through every suffering trial. Simply because He knew who He was and knew His purpose. Yet, we are no different – He was the Son of God and we were adopted by Him (Ephesians 1:5 – God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family) We are joint-heirs and chosen!! We have tremendous value and purpose, but we just get so distracted from all of that.
That minute-by-minute struggle of forgetting the truth of who I am.
The silly me that defines myself by my worn, scarred and muddy boots.
The worried me that values my mothering by the fact that my kids just knocked a zillion of cans off the shelf at the store and ran around like hyper monkeys on cotton candy diets.
The stressed me that looks at the piles of laundry, tumbleweeds of dust balls, and “not nutritiously balanced” meal and believes my value as a spouse is diminished.
The crazy me that identifies myself by my worn, scarred and sinful heart.
The me that feels not good enough, not polished enough and not perfect enough.
That is NOT what my Creator said about me and my value. It’s not what He said about you. In fact, He said that you (in your messy hair, low bank account, dirty house, wrinkles, belly fat, etc.) was loved so much that He gave His son to die for us and take all the burdens and pain of our sin away.
That, to me, has way more value than her* boots.
Now it’s your turn:
When was the last time you felt diminished?
Where do you think these feelings of unworthiness come from?
Do you believe that God’s value has power in your life?
Categories: christian life stuff