When I think of all the ways I have messed up and oh – how I could count the ways…my immediate response is to hide, point the finger or break into a song and dance routine to provide immediate distraction.
In all this, we are simply repeating history; the very first history of royally screwing up.
Oh, that wicked little apple and all the things it made us do.
After my mistake, I huddle to myself and hide in shame. Sometimes hypothetically and sometimes literally and with a big bag of Oreos. I think of Eve and her beloved, Adam. It was the Epic Screw Up.
One moment they were frolicking with the lion and lamb, unencumbered by pesky garments. Eating the good things provided for them and then sunbathing without fear of tan lines and listening to God himself talk to them. They didn’t just pray to an unseen being, they walked with him and talked with him. I doubt they ever played guessing games because let’s face it, guessing games with an omnipotent one is a little unfair.
Then the apple. Boom.
The bitter taste that must have left in their mouths as they swallowed the final bite and realized the “evil” part of the fruit of “good and evil.”
Kicked out of that glorious garden, I’m sure the lion and lamb even turned their backs on these God made creatures who weren’t satisfied with the glory of living with a God they could touch.
When I think about my failings, I think of Eve. A lifetime of regret she carried inside of her as she went through her tasks of making clothing, creating bowls to eat out of, sweeping her dusty hut and greeting a man who came from toiling in the fields; his hands calloused and bleeding, his feet sore and aching and his back pinched…..oh that darn apple she had wanted so badly and this was the price for it.
I imagine she cried out daily for the God she once spoke to. Just one audible word from him. Just one “I love you.”
Silence met her.
That darn apple…..wait….not the apple. The apple was merely a fruit. The blame lied with her. The restless feeling that maybe there was something even greater than what she has been given.
It’s the same when we fail. We have that restless feeling that we need better, we crave better….no…we DESERVE better than what we have.
But we have a God that just won’t give up on us and keep silent. But rather than reaching down to encircle us in his arms. He has designated us to be those hands, feet and mouth that echoes his heart’s cries.
Sin separated us from that gorgeous valley of Eden, but it didn’t separate us from feeling His love. We got a second chance when He sent his son down for us. He just couldn’t give up on us.
That darn apple will always be a part of our history.
But unlike Eve and her burden. I can cry out and be embraced by those He sent to be around me. I don’t have to carry my burden alone. Even though I might be shaking with tears and pain, I can claim “it is well with my soul.”