I read an article yesterday about “Parenting.” It was well written with just enough passionate “you should do this too” to alienate around 80% of her readers. Although I probably sided with her views, I’ve been around long enough to know that to comment was to basically moon the opposing side in the Mommy War. I’ve also been around long enough to know that nobody truly appreciates a good mooning in my demographics.
So I sat back and reflected. (Reflected = get some coffee and watch the flaming go down.)
I think most of us women go to the internet for validation of our core beliefs. Clothing, work choices, parenting, relationships, recipes and an extensive laundry list of other things. Speaking of….laundry is never one of the things we validate. I think all women agree that it is evil and should be made illegal in all 50 states and US Territories.
So, if you happened to find this post, I want to share what worked for me.
Your results may vary.
I don’t care what passionate article you may find about anything, I can almost guarantee that even if you agree, your results may vary because you are unique.
Domestic Debbie’s Perfect Housekeeping Schedule works for Debbie, but you are unique.
Work From Home Wanda balances her work and family perfectly, but you are unique.
Breast feeding Brenda has a perfectly adjusted baby and self image, but you are unique.
Craft Cathy has….well, let’s face it, she’s just annoying.
Spiritual Suzy seems enlightened and at peace, but you are unique.
See where that leads?
You are not Debbie, Wanda, Brenda, Cathy or Suzy (unless that does happen to be your name, but any similarities between persons mentioned either dead or alive are a work of fiction) you are just you, wonderfully and beautifully made and your results will vary as you find your own way.
Not through validation on a quote you found on Pinterest. Not through a cleverly crafted shaming post. Not through a private group of similar people.
Through trial and error, success and failure. You will try some things on and they will fit and others…not so much. You will finally find this magical place where you are at peace with your choices because they are “yours.” You find what works for you and devil may care what anyone else thinks. You don’t even roll your eyes at Mrs. Judgy McJudgyson; you actually pity her because she is clearly wrong about what works for you and oh..that poor misguided soul looking out for “your best interests.”
So quit trying to search for validation on the internet; you are the only one in the position for giving yourself a head nod for good choices.
So that’s what finally worked for me when I was trying to figure out to work from home, stay at home, cloth diaper, breast feed, do crafts, be an attachment parent (hello…I have spatial issues) etc. etc. etc…..but your results may vary.
Categories: October 2013 entry