Yesterday I wrote a heavy post and touched on a lot of vague aspects of what went down. Thank you sensitive reader for not requiring more. One action I discussed several times was the “kneeling at someone’s feet” and the application of “kneeling at our Father’s feet.”
This is a practice I am horrible at. The whole being still and fully involved goes against my brain wiring.
Hi. I’m a “Martha.” (Not to be mistaken with Martha Stewart because I detest and don’t trust anyone who can properly fold a fitted sheet.)
Luke 10:38-42 New International Version (NIV) At the Home of Martha and Mary
38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
I am a worrier and get upset quickly. I am the chicken with its head cut off. I am a hot mess and a spazz. Intimate conversations make my skin crawl and I need busy work.
I speak in the Love Language of “Service.” Patting your hand while you cry isn’t as likely as taking your purse from you and organizing it for ease of use. Being a Martha means that cooking a meal for my family, running an errand or tackling your school project of poster board and glitter (which is actually more of a sacrifice because I loathe crafts) is my way of showing love and that I kinda want you around. I’m guilty of going into friends’ homes and organizing their cookbook collection by size and color. I’m sure your system was fine, but my system shows that I love you.
So yesterday I forced myself to be a “Mary,” talk and listen. I would have probably preferred to rip his backpack from him and do his schoolwork, but “Mary” is what was needed.
In the scripture above I can totally see that playing out…
“Oh my heavens…the Lord is here and there is a cobweb on that stool and he should have fresh biscuits…I’ll do that now as I toss in my best pot roast…look at Mary just sitting there like a moron….she has to know he is hungry, but she is just hanging on his every word like a deer in the headlights….oh, the pot is starting to boil, but I just have to get this floor swept…what if The Lord stumbled on a dust bunny…He has to have my best…not like Mary who is such a simpleton that she won’t lift a finger but hover…oh look at her hover…I bet he can’t even breathe in his own personal space…”
*stomps her feet and turns up the volume on her best world weary sigh*
“Jesus!!! Look at her doing nothing to show she’s honored you’re here. I’m doing it all *stomps foot for emphasis* Tell her to get off her can and push a broom for your sake!!”
*Jesus delivers his much better world weary sigh*
“Martha…chillax! I came here to just hang with you two.”
Martha tries to chill, but I can see her brain timing the pot roast and browning on the biscuits. Maybe she should take his robes and iron them or something….
I’ve been trying very hard to chill my “Martha” out. Yesterday I knelt and yes…my brain was trying to figure out if I had the proper listening pose…was I staring too long…did I “uh-huh and hmmm” at all the right places, but I discovered some things that are important.
1) Being a Martha is exhausting because there is always something you will miss. You will always fall short of perfect service and worry that your love didn’t shine through.
2) More than your perfect casserole or spotless entry way, people need to see you listening and engaged. Is it easier to talk to a rock or a active ping pong ball?
3) By being still and looking at the one that is talking, you miss nothing. The frown where there was supposed to be a smile, the look of defeat when talking about their success or the look that says “I need a hug” when they are saying “I’m fine.”
So, I’m a recovering “Martha.” I’m focusing on being still, rather than just being involved. I’m trying not to go organize your junk drawer when you just need me to listen.
I’m a busy body and a spazz. Make a change in me that I can be still, focused and fully engaged in the words and lessons you want me to know. I know my pot roast rocks and my entry way is spotless, but I know that these things don’t impress you. You don’t want a show, you want a soul. I am kneeling and listening; move through me.
Categories: October 2013 entry