Unloading the dishwasher, I begin to place all the coffee cups and fun summery plastic cups onto their shelves. Somehow in the last week, we’ve accumulated more cups and I find myself having to stand on my tiptoes to put them on the shelf I can never quite reach. I can see some stuff up there, but at my stature, I can’t quite make out what occupies the shelf an inch past my normal reach. As I blindly shove the cups onto their new home, I hear something rattle and naturally it bounces out to plunk me in the head.
A sippy cup. Faded colorful stars chase each other around the favorite cup of the youngest. “When did we use this last?” I can’t even recall the last time I saw it in her clutches. I must have put it on the top shelf because it wasn’t needed much anymore. I started to put it back, but I realize that we have no use for sippy cups anymore.
We’ve begun a new season in our lives and it slipped around us without any fanfare.
Diapers are no longer purchased alongside tiny glass jars of applesauce or replacement pacifiers. No longer are highchairs cluttering the kitchen floor and the friendly rocking horse with the special seat that supported barely sitting babes has occupied the attic for some time.
Tiny chubby feet don’t toddle across the floor with their familiar slap. Little fingers don’t grab things left on the table to stick in drooling mouths. Very rarely is my lap occupied with a cherubic babe with lashes slowly drifting downward at 3am.
There was a time that I thought the midnight feelings, diaper changes and muscling the impossibly heavy baby carriers would never end. I glared at people when they suggested that they grow so fast. I visibly cringed when it was told that I was going to miss this. Yet, the season changed.
I stood for a moment with memories of the past season swirling through my heart. Looking around the house there is no evidence of babies or toddlers. Backpacks are in the laundry room from busy days at school. A baseball bat and football lay on the floor reminding me of their athletic ambitions. Brushes and a jewelry box full of bright beads sits at the ready for the primping girls.
I walked to the trash can and placed the sippy cup in. Closing the lid I whispered, “I’m ready for this season.” I have my memories, because I didn’t miss a thing. I rocked, patted, burped and changed my way to this point. The time that they no longer toddle the floor, but race to be the first to the dinner table. The time they no longer drift to sleep during “Goodnight Moon,” but read to me every word of “Oh, The Places You Will Go.” No longer safely tucked in a crib, they are free to roam, learn and explore this new season.
I won’t miss a thing, because I’ve been here all along collecting each glorious season.
Categories: june 2013 diary entry