Dear Kitty,

Dear Kitty,

It’s been hard for me to write lately. Well, not really hard, but difficult for me to find the right words to say and also say what I want. Clearly.

Guns/Gun Control have been the hot topic lately. On this I have a lot to say, but it doesn’t have a lot to do with the actual gun and if it is black or how many bullets it has.

My late husband was a survivalist. I didn’t agree with it to the extent he carried it, but its just how it was. He was into all things guns and had quite the collection. It made me a little nervous sometimes and we can talk about that more in a minute.

His death was by an AR15. His death was caused by him pulling the trigger.

If anyone should have a grudge against the AR15 or any other gun, you would think it would be me, but its not. Let’s look at those previous sentences again.

His death was BY an AR15 (BY = implement) His death was CAUSED BY him pulling the trigger. (CAUSED BY = INTENTIONAL ACTION)

Guns made me nervous for a long time because I didn’t understand them fully. I saw them daily and was constantly told all about magazines, clips, guards, rails, uppers, lowers, etc. I began to learn the anatomy of a gun and that’s when I saw the truth of a gun.

Without INTENTIONAL ACTION it is nothing but an IMPLEMENT.

An implement for good (hunting, protection) or for bad (murder, suicide) It is no different of an instrument than our mouth. Daily we make choices of what we say. We choose uplifting/positive or we choose destructive/negative. Our intention powers how we use the implement. Period.

As his mental illness began to spiral out of control, I could no longer gauge what his intention was so I removed myself and our daughters from the situation. I was becoming aware of the dangers of his intentions, but even on that I did not give mental illness the credit it is due. I simply could not create in my mind what was inside his mind. There is no law passed or that could be passed that would have prevented him from wanting to die.

Daily now we see on the news about murders and suicide. Daily we are pointed to the gun as being the problem.

No matter what gun laws you pass…

No matter the restrictions…

No matter the regulations…

This is not a war on our society that will be won by removing an implement. This violence against others or against self will never cease until we start focusing on INTENTION and what we can do in our homes, neighborhoods, cities and governments to acknowledge that it is not the trigger that is the problem, it is the pulling of the trigger.

Many have begun to see in clarity what the INTENTION of others can do to a wife and three young daughters, a school, a community or a nation. They see this danger and know that until we start discussing mental illness (and not just flipping around the word crazy, autistic, PTSD) that no amount of IMPLEMENT removal will guarantee their safety.

I have a right to have a grudge against guns. I’ve had my life threatened with one. My children had to learn the word suicide because of one.

Yet, it is also my right to bear arms. To IMPLEMENT it against INTENTION that no law will be able to protect me and my family from.

 



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11 replies

  1. Probably the best post I have seen on this topic yet! Well said!

  2. In case you don’t remember me telling you, I stumbled across your “Deciding to Dance” story and was riveted as I sat there at my kitchen table for over an hour as I read your words.

    You were a victim of gun violence in so many ways and I respect your view on guns and mental health. I think people simply want a solution. A quick fix. And unfortunately, I don’t think there IS a quick fix. But thank you for sharing your story and your perspective. You’re brave and smart!

    • I do remember.

      I’ve seen so many who are so against their perception of what the weapon is and they don’t yet realize that the true weapon is man.

  3. Thank you for being a voice for victims of gun violence who recognize guns aren’t the problem. So very well said.

  4. Until families and/or friends recognize and admit their loved ones have mental problems, we will have murder and sucide. Guns never have been the problem. We, meaning society, has put a stigma on mental illness. Heavens forbid that anyone would admit to having a problem or even someone in their family having a problem. Until we address the mental health issues, all the gun control laws are meaningless.

  5. This is exactly what I want people to understand about the gun situation. A quick fix will not solve the problem.

  6. what an excellent, honest, and moving viewpoint. Thank you for sharing your experience.
    You are so right and until we change our focus, we will never find a cure 😦

  7. Great and honest post. Thank you for sharing your story.
    You are so right! Until we change our focus, we will never have a cure 😦

  8. Such a great post. Thank you for sharing your story. It was very brave and I 100% agree with you.

  9. This? Is amazing. And perfect. Thank you for your words.

  10. Intention and Implement. Exactly! Great post, my friend!

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