Today I want to talk about what seeps into my skin about Facebook.
I am tired of seeing all these “shares” with pictures or stories of parents actually (gasp) parenting. Like its a rarity to parent and something that needs to be praised and affirmed. Highly popular right now are videos of parents talking to their kids about what they have done wrong and what the consequences are. Also popular is the contracts written by parents about what they expect from their kids. One of the biggest gripes I have is the pictures of children (sick children, etc.) that get passed around.
First, if your child was sick, handicapped or outside the society definition of “normal” (whatever that is) would you take your child to a busy intersection and scream at the people passing to show a physical sign of affirmation for your child? Would you publicly show off your kid and point out their flaws so others could discuss what is perfect or imperfect about your child? Would you show your child through your actions that they have to depend on the approval of others to deem their self-worth? Would you allow others to take snapshots of your kid with the intention of passing it off to other strangers to discuss your child’s value?
Of course we are not ashamed of our kids, but it is our job to PROTECT them, not promote them. Let’s face it….the truth is you are needing the affirmation for yourself and not affirmation of your child.
As far as contracts or anything else for my kid, this is all that is needed.
I don’t need to write a contract depicting my expectations and your consequences. I’ve raised you and you know these things.
I don’t need to make a video of me talking to you. We do that face to face.
Public humiliation won’t happen by me because all it teaches you is I don’t give a rip about your feelings.
By definition “Parent” is a caretaker – A person who takes care of another in the general sense.
Care – Close attention; concern; responsibility
It’s my job to pay close attention to everything you do. Nothing you do should be a surprise to me. You have my full attention.
It’s my job to have concern. If it concerns you, it concerns me and vice-versa. I am concerned for you.
It’s my job to have responsibility. You are a direct reflection of my love, teaching and guidance. I will only pass the responsibility to you when you’ve shown an unmovable moral compass and emotional maturity. While I have responsibility, I will parent. I will be your caretaker.
…and frankly…my kids knowing they have a parenting caretaker, is way more important than degrading them, exploiting them or publicly crucifying them to promote what real parenting is.
Categories: January Diary Entry
Agree. And seeing what a difference it makes to have a parenting caretaker is an affirmation of the best kind.
I have always said that parenting is one of the strangest jobs you’ll ever do. It’s the only job I know where success is measured when you no longer HAVE a job.