Dear Kitty,

Dear Kitty,

I have a lot of teenagers and very young adults on my FaceBook page. Some of them, I don’t really remember where we met, some are friends of the older kids in my house and some are friends of friends of friend’s kids. They are cute (most of them) and have good hearts (most of them) and sometimes they write something that shocks me (some have shocked me in that not so good way and you know who you are) I don’t normally comment on these kids wall, because…let’s face it…I am OLD to many of them. I love having them around though, because it lets me know what kids today are going through, what my kids are facing and what they may have to deal with.

I just got my heart broken by one of them.

It’s not what she was doing, but what she posted about what her age group is doing. She posted this picture…

cutting

In case you can’t tell in the picture, it is tweets sent by “kids” who are “cutting” for Justin Bieber. Seriously. This was put on FB and I started scrolling through the comments. Someone made the comment it was idiotic and this is some of the replies…

“da f*** this s*** is real just because you havent gone through it doesnt give you the right to bash it these are hurting people and you only make it worse a******** how could you be more insensitive f*** you

..they all cut the wrong way

yes!!!!! hopefully these bieber fans all die!!!!!

I’d tell you some of the rest of the replies, but I fear my asterisk key would wear out and my personal love of halfway decent grammar…yeah, I can’t do that to you nice folks.
From what I gather, these people did this because Bieber was caught smoking weed (not real sure about the facts on that one)
There was 1000s of comments and I read every single one of them. There were some that acknowledged that these people have a problem, but the majority was calling for suicide and cheering for harm or death.
I won’t pretend that I understand cutting. I don’t understand the self-harm. I really don’t understand suicide.
But, I’ve seen it and I won’t pretend it isn’t real. I won’t mask it by calling it “attention-getters.” It’s pain, physical and emotional and that is something that is very real to all of us.
For someone to take a blade to their arm…I don’t care if they are blaming Bieber…they are doing it because they hurt. They hurt and they know of nothing else to do. They claim this releases the pain, but the only release will be if they begin to hope in themselves again.
To dare to hope that no matter what happens in this world, how their “idols” might fall and what feels like excruciating pain…it gets better because they hope in themselves. They hope that tomorrow will be better for them. They hope that they will find love. They hope that someone will look beyond the cuts, the scars and the ugliness and will see the beauty trapped in their hearts.
These comments did not give them a snowball’s chance in “you-know-where” to believe that a single person cared. Somewhere behind that picture is a real person. A real person with real blood on their arm. A real person wiping away the blood and then trying to hide under long sleeves. A real person whose true pain is deep beyond that skin and they just can’t get to it to make it better. A real person that no matter how they tried to prove to the world that they were in control and doing something passionate, probably wept tears that night. Tears over the pain on their skin and the anguish in their soul.
I don’t understand, but I do. I’ve never had the desire to slice away at my skin, but I’ve known hurt, despair, betrayal, indifference, judgement, fear and abandonment. I don’t know your face, but judging by what you did to your skin…I know your heart.
You will likely bear those scars the rest of your life. They will tell a story….OR you can tell a story. You can tell a story about learning to hope in yourself again. Perhaps you can share about how you aren’t really alone. Maybe you will learn that you are not misunderstood, you just need to be real. Hurt people are everywhere. Healed people are everywhere. You get a choice on where you want to be.
…and frankly…I hope you chose not to damage the parts of you that will not scab up and heal. Find hope.


Categories: January Diary Entry

Tags: , , , ,

6 replies

  1. As a pre-teen, I got “in” to cutting. It was a release, just as having a cup of coffee on the deck is now. When you are young, you don’t really have a full grasp of how to handle pain. If you can see it you have a tangible way to take control over it. You can see the blood, you can watch it scar, and, hopefully, heal. Most of these young girls and boys will exit this phase with no more than a faded memory of their actions but a few of them may never make it out of their teen years. Hopefully, the parents of these kids are not too blind (or too busy) to see that this is happening and will prevent another useless loss of a beautful life.

    • Thank you for sharing here.
      My prayer is that this act does not go unnoticed or dismissed. I wish they, each one of these cutters, could see how special, beautiful and full of chances on life that they are.

  2. Alycia, you hit my heart today. my daughter has a friend who cuts. My daughter is also a Bieber fan and how glad am I today that she doesn’t have a FB nor allowed internet access (yet!). She tried cutting herself once. It was a mere scratch and she’s never done it again, but I pray that she will NEVER EVER find this as a release. These photos make me cry. The callous hurtful words thrown out there make me cry even more. I know there is hope in this world. I know there is hope in the younger generation, but I’m honestly scared of the future in the hands of children that talk this way with such hate and ignorance. It’s all over.

    • Oh there is hope! Even though misdirected, there is no denying the passion that the youth have. Even in the hate and hurt, they have a powerful voice!
      I pray that they discover this power they have. The power to influence, to change, to touch and use it to start a movement of hope in their generation.
      We have so much discovered in the field of mental health and its being talked about in more normal settings. We might actually see a shift towards not keeping this hurt locked in closets, but voiced, empowered and full of change.

  3. Breaks my heart that any child chooses this outlet for their pain and more so that others would be cruel to them when they are already so broken. This world is so messed up! And yet … there is beauty! I pray that they learn to look for it!

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