I sit through a lot of kid shows. More than should be legal for one mother. After all, we have sanity limits don’t we?
Most of it is happy stuff and generally ends in a nice bow ridden package of wholesome goodness. Kid stuff like sharing, caring and washing your hands. Lots of hands washing. Every now and then though, they slip something deep into the cleverly drawn images and childish fun. Something deeper than hand washing because it cleanses your soul with truth.
The kids seldom catch it, but oh – if they only could early in their lives. To see these fundamental truths beyond the clean germ-free hands and to see life in authenticity.
Today my youngest skipped merrily into her first day of Preschool and left me with just the 5yo girl at home. Me and one child. Alone. We abandoned all responsibilities and ran to the movie theater. It’s just what we do as moms sometimes. I bought her a 55 gallon of super buttered popcorn of her own and we settled down in an empty theater to watch “Rise Of The Guardians.”
By the end of the movie she was in love with the Tooth Fairy because she was colorful, had wings and a pretty laugh.
Me? I was wiping away tears of a touched soul.
This movie is about a young man who wakes from the darkness in confusion and loneliness. He doesn’t know why he is here and realizes quickly that nobody can see him. – I’ve been there.
Opportunity arises out of desperation and he finds himself thrust to finding his purpose in his placement and pain. – I know that so well.
By the end of the movie he remembers what brought him such pain and is able to use that very thing to fuel his passion and secure his purpose. – My tears caught me off guard. This was a kid movie! It took me some time to bring my quivering lip under control, but I wanted to grab my daughter and see that she had seen that exact truth that was revealed in the playful antics of these characters. I wanted to see in her eyes that she learned what it has taken me so many years of searching to find.
I am sure there are some on this Earth that knew from the moment their first cognitive thought was formed what they were meant to do and were able to avoid that messy business of lost purpose and such pain that life can bring. I haven’t met a single one, but surely there are some.
I watched the character on the screen search his past for that moment that defined him and remembered those moments that I sat there desperately clawing for my own moment. My daughter was just laughing at the boomerang throwing Easter Bunny and I had to smile about that.
I look at the children around me and although in their short lives they have experienced pain, they still fall in love with the Tooth Fairy and laugh at the Easter Bunny. They don’t yet see those deep moments of life clarification around them and connect to their own struggles and failures. There is still time for them to learn and I only pray that they learn quickly. I plead with God to spare their hearts more and reveal their purpose through as little pain as possible. I beg my Father in Heaven that their laughter stay with them as long as possible and that their souls are never for a moment in fear of abandonment.
…and frankly…I hope that they are like the young child at the end of the movie that looks Fear in the face and clings to his beliefs stating, “I know who you are, but I am not afraid of you.” I know I am finally in that spot.
Categories: January Diary Entry