Today I am a little disheartened.
I read a post online from a person that confided they had considered suicide. Why? Because this person is/was different by their interpretation of society standards.
Which society standards? I’m not entirely sure.
Both lifestyle groups this person subscribes to are known either for forgiveness or tolerance.
Not just that, but OK so you are different…aren’t we all different? Is there a single one of us on this planet that is a carbon copy of someone else?
After reading, re-reading and walking away from the computer several times, I could only think of one thing.
This “singling out”…this “judgement”…this condemnation of your life…you are doing it to yourself. You are the one opening the door to it and letting it park out on your couch, renting PPV movies and raiding your fridge.
So you shared your heart and then got some comments of non-support from strangers, friends and family.
Sure you opened the door to make yourself vulnerable, but you have the choice of whether you let those comments come into your home and destroy and take what is yours.
The day you were brought into this world, you were born different. It is what makes you who you are. You are SUPPOSED to be different!!!
Why then when we share our differences are we allowing ourselves to feel so guilty about not being just like John or Jane? You were uniquely created for a purpose specific to what makes you different. Fine, you have some habits…you have things you aren’t proud of…ALL of us do.
I get that you might feel shunned by a few. I understand that some that were supposed to be your biggest supporters walked away. I can comprehend a pain so deep that you don’t see the point of your life.
But if you let it come into your place and it makes itself comfortable enough to invade your space, that’s on you. If you let it sit beside you and cringe while it points and laughs at your differences, that’s on you.
Get rid of it. Show it the door. Lock the deadbolt behind it. Ignore the knocks.
Be YOU. Be different. Be bold. Just…BE!
This suicide thing…I’ve seen it. I watched someone decide that their pain was so unique, so unrelenting that to just not “be” here, there or anywhere was better. Trust me on this…people can accept your habits, your faults and your differences a lot easier than they will accept your death. Your opinion that your death will free you is a lie. Your thought that your death will change someone’s criticism on your differences is a lie. Your thought that nobody will care…biggest lie of all.
Who do you think you are to hold your own life hostage? What gave you such power that you can destroy you?
…and frankly…being different is what you are supposed to be. Accept it. Love it. Flaunt it, but don’t ever destroy it.
Categories: December Diary Entry