Dear Kitty,

Dear Kitty,

I’ve noticed that this is where I spend the majority of my time. In-between.

Training the dogs

What is going on in this picture…

Our new rescue, Friday (the black dog) and my dog, Deogi, are in the midst of a “you are going to get together and not kill each other” meeting.

Friday is listening and alert. Deogi is just turning his back to the whole thing. As of right now, they don’t trust each other. So I sit in-between and mediate. We don’t know Friday’s past, but it’s become obvious that although he loves attention, he doesn’t trust other dogs. Friday seems to say “I’m going to start this and get it over with.” Deogi is “don’t start none, won’t be none.” Both of them want to know they are loved and safe. It’s not a good place for either of them and it’s the best place for both of them.

This is a point of life that I understand.

Not trusting.

Waiting to be hurt.

Wanting to be loved.

I think most of us have been there or are there.

I’ve watched it with the children in my house as they navigate step-siblings and step-parents. I’ve seen it as they worry about abandonment and unconditional love. I’ve watched it in myself as I deal with my own past colliding at times with my present.

As with the dogs, I know that if they will just let their guard down for a moment, they would see they are safe. They will know companionship. They will feel love. Yet, I see the uncertainty and fear.

I see Friday with his past of being neglected, hurt and unloved. I’ve known that place. Wanting the peace so bad, but being afraid of the new and what it might mean. Scared to be at peace, because what if a bigger hurt is waiting….

I see Deogi with the worry of his place being challenged, of being replaced, of wanting to defend what is his. I’ve familiar with that feeling, as well. Finally in a place of comfort, safety and love and worrying that it will be taken from you…

Until the moment comes that they trust, I will be there. In-between. Praising each for their mere seconds of relaxing. Acknowledging their apprehension and enforcing the space that they need. Hoping. Loving.

…and frankly…watching trust and love begin to bloom a little is a beautiful thing.

Categories: November Diary Entry

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