There has become a trend lately of writing to yourself at a younger age with the lessons you know now. It’s a wonderful reflection time to revisit all the things that have molded you into what you have become, but it’s just not practical.
If I were to write myself a letter, I would not have been daring enough to see future events through.
I certainly would have chosen paths a lot easier, than the one I found myself wandering.
But if I had found a letter in my youth that I had written today, I think this is what it would have said:
You might want to sit down for this. No, seriously. Sit down, I’ll wait.
First, you have a tendency to read between the lines and be skeptical. Don’t do that here.
Secondly, whether you like what you are going to read here or not, it is your path to purpose. Consider this a heads-up, but you can’t change anything that is going to happen or you won’t be who you are meant to be.
Let’s get started, shall we?
You know that wild streak of independence you have? You are going to need that in your mid 30s. There will be a moment (and you’ll know it when it happens) that no matter what your fear is or how much you think you can’t do it alone; you are going to have to. You will need to cling to it for survival for a while. That independence that promotes the feeling of not caring what others think or tell you to do, is going to be essential.
Similarly, that humor that is slightly dark and often sarcastic; go ahead and keep that. Right now some don’t seem to “get you” and you feel alone, but trust me when I tell you that you will be remembered later in life for it. There are little things that you say right now, that are impacting people and you aren’t aware of it.
That concept you have of marrying Prince Charming and not having any kids while the two of you travel into the wilds of Africa? This one is a doozy and I hate to spoil it for you; but let me just tell you that it’s good you have a sense of humor.
I know you sit in Church faithfully every Sunday and you half listen. You have a tendency to flip to the “stories” in the Bible during lessons and let your mind wander away. It’s OK, because while you think you are just reading stories, the truth of faith, grace, mercy and forgiveness are being committed to a small part of your soul that will in a moment of utter desperation be recalled and help you rise from the ashes as you remember all those who went before you.
Keep practice writing your short stories, humorous anecdotes, poetry and insights of the little things. You have no idea where this is going to lead you and it’s going to humble you beyond measure.
You have this stubborn selfish part of your mind that tells you no matter what happens, you can do better and you deserve better. There will come a day that you will be lying there battered and hopeless. That little voice that seems selfish will be your savior in those times. It will also come to truth when your path twists suddenly and it is proved that you do deserve better and you get it.
Still sitting down?
Your life is going to be a test of pain for quite some time, but know that its all going to worth it. Every single time that you fall and feel alone, you aren’t. Every step, every stumble, every victory, every broken heart; its worth it. You are going to overcome and exceed your dreams, because it is your purpose.
There is going to be about 2 hours in your life that you consider quitting everything. The amount of guilt, hurt and utter despair is going to overwhelm you to the point of desperation. In those moments you will feel the still, quiet voice of your Father in your heart. You will be so covered in love and forgiveness that you will endure. You will be saved when you need it the most and you will be reminded that you are worth everything.
This life? It’s going to be beautiful and shining after the darkest moments.
You are going to be fine.
You are going to be blessed.
You are going to be amazing in ways that you cannot comprehend.
…and frankly…I can’t wait to see your face when you see what your purpose actually is.
Categories: September Diary Entry