You know what makes me want to kick a wall? (Which I wouldn’t ever do because then I would have to clean up a mess, patch a wall and probably tend to a broken toe)
Those “It-Could-Be-Worse” people.
You sound off about a bad hair day and they remind you that some people don’t have hair.
You gripe about a new pair of shoes you would like to have and they tell you about someone who ties cardboard to their feet.
You grumble about the fact that your kids are fighting and they remind you how lucky you are to have children.
Come on people. We are aware that things “could be worse.” We see it on the news, in our communities and sometimes within our own families. We are not blinded to what “real” problems are.
Why then must we cast all of our feelings aside and live in a perpetual state of eternal graciousness? Just because we have blessings are we not allowed to entertain some disappointment or longing at times?
OK I know the green tinted envy of jealousy where we curse our neighbor because he just parked a brand new sparkling yacht in his driveway is a big “no-no,” but what about the type of longing that makes you believe that you can work harder for something that you want? What about knowing your children can be angels and just wishing that they would behave that way a little more often?
Then someone comes along with a “it could be worse” statement and ultimately make us feel guilty and unworthy of our desires.
Just because I have the worst head of hair planted on a female in my opinion, does not make me unsympathetic to the people who lost their hair fighting cancer or have a disease that robbed them of hair. I am very sympathetic and acknowledge that I have never had to endure that type of trial.
Just because I didn’t like the food placed before me, does not blind me to the millions who die from hunger or go to bed with nothing more than a bowl of rice all day. I’m not heartless, I just strongly dislike asparagus.
It’s like this whenever we voice an opinion on anything. There will always be someone who disagrees with us either through principle or life situations that they have endured.
I know personally I have to refrain my voice when someone complains that their spouse is cruel because they were prohibited from buying their 213th pair of shoes. My life experiences have taught me different.
I have to zip my lip when someone says that having one child is hard because they don’t get to go out every Friday night with the girlfriends like they used to. Having 7 kids in the house has taught me different.
I don’t want to be the one to tell them “it could be worse” though. We are all (every single planet inhabitant) on different journeys and not one of us has ever walked the same path in the same pair of shoes (or cardboard pieces if you will) How very emotionally intrusive must we be to assume that we have the right to take away or diminish someone else’s struggles or desires.
Isn’t that desire the thing that makes us strive harder and believe that we are good enough to have what we desire?
Aren’t those struggles the things that make us human, help bond us and teach us in life?
Wouldn’t it just be kinder and more loving to let someone voice how they really feel without tearing apart and making them feel small? Even if our life situations have taught us that “it could be worse,” couldn’t we consent that they have the human right to feel disappointment or longing?
…and frankly…I still hate my hair.
Categories: August Diary Entry