Dear Kitty,

Today I wrote about the darker side of snark over at Bliss Habits. So if you have ever been guilty of hiding your hurt behind a sarcastically worded comment, then that post is for you.

This is hands-down my favorite picture of what self confidence looks like.

I don’t know whether or not that cat felt confident as it walked in front of all the dogs, but it went forward anyways.

Isn’t that what true confidence is? The ability that no matter what your fear is; you move forward.

There have been times in my life that others thought I was full of confidence and inner strength. If you could have seen my inner self, you would have seen a woman hyperventilating into a plastic bag, shaking like a hairless chihuahua in the Arctic and nibbling off my fingernails in typewriter fashion. Confident in self – maybe 3% of the time and that’s been overly generous.

So these confident people that we see walking around in all their swagger and chins held high; how do we get that?

1: Don’t focus on the dogs around you.

Those dogs in the picture above? I’m sure they would have had tons of suggestions for the cat on how to move. Wag your tail more, sniff around a little and look for fire hydrants. Yet, that’s a cat. It’s not how they are wired to move and becoming a dog would have defeated the point of the picture. The cat is a cat, just like you are you. Don’t focus on the suggestions of those around you on how to achieve something. They can only advise you on how they would do it and that’s not YOUR steps towards self-confidence.

2. Don’t act like prey.

When you are being you, don’t show your fear of being “eaten alive.” You may be just like the chihuahua in the Arctic, but who has to know it? It’s often said in the wild that body language can be the difference between having the next meal and being the next meal. I would venture to say that if that cat had squealed and ran like it’s tail end was connected to a firecracker (That is not an endorsement to light a firecracker to a cat’s tail, it’s merely a metaphor to express a point) those dogs would have broken line and given chase. It’s their nature to chase, but they can’t chase what isn’t running.

3. Keep moving forward.

Above all, self confidence can be eventually obtained by just moving forward. The more dogs the cat passed, the less he had to overcome to get to the end. The simple relief of getting past a point can be a small key to unlocking your self confidence. By not focusing on the dogs in the line, by not running out of fear; the cat is able to reach a point of having it all behind

This is where I believe we have to start to actually get to the point of the swaggering confidence.

…and frankly…even forced confidence is better than running scared.

Categories: diary entry July

Tags: confidence, don't run or the dogs will chase you, having the next meal or being the next meal