After 20 years of separation, I got to talk to my best friend in high school.
That’s me on the right and no…I have no idea what we were doing, but I know it was fun. She was always fun and we lived life one shenanigan at a time.
There was a whole lot of catching up on the phone as my husband kept all the kids entertained while I sprawled on my bed and reverted back to my high school days. We talked about all we had done, the trials we had faced and the blessings we had received.
Touching back to the past is so important sometimes to see the paths your life has taken you. The perspective you gain from a little blast to the past is beyond measure.
So many times there are things that have happened or we had done that we don’t like facing and admitting to. It brings feelings of guilt and regret even when we have moved far past those times. We try to keep it tucked away in the dark corners because we are so afraid that it will taint our present. Our guilt becomes something that we fear will define us. Skirting around it and keeping it hidden seems like the only way we will be able to move forward in life successfully.
Because, what if they really knew us?
That guilt we are feeling is because of the standards we have come to believe need to be there. The standard of normalcy. The standard of success. The standard of happiness. Society has told us what those standards are. Family and friends recognize those standards. We defer to them every time we mess up and judge ourselves against them. Then we get guilt and the desire to hide the things that keep us from reaching those standards.To appear perfect.
But what if they really knew us?
What if you told them that you had made mistakes? Would they sigh and say “Oh, I am sorry. You know, I did that also?”
What if you told them that your marriage was failing? Would they cry with you and say “I’ve been there too?”
What if you told them “insert your guilty past here” and they understood because they are human too.
What if you took that mess in your life and used it for your message? What if your trials and pains could help someone else reach out and not feel alone? What if the spotlight on your biggest regret was the stage being set for your testimony?
What if the only standard you measured against was the standard of being the real you?
…and frankly…that’s the only standard that should matter.
Categories: Diary entry June