I’m in the hospital with my husband as we wait for his hernia surgery to begin. It was supposed to start 4 hours ago. To say he is a little cranky is like saying “is chocolate yummy?”
We had to come in the same place that I had to be in when the brought Dan to the ER. I admit I had a little breakdown walking in the same doors and being in the same area I had to be in for hours tending to the details of Dan’s death. As the doors slid open, the same feeling of that night came flooding over me. Tears rolled down my cheeks as every part of me wanted to run.
My husband facing his own emotions of his surgery, reached out and grabbed my hand to comfort me. Understanding the tears. Loving me through it. I am blessed with this sweet compassionate man.
As I sit beside him waiting for the surgeon to come get him a little fear is in my heart. It’s the fear that life is so wonderful for us that the other shoe might drop. The desire to have so many memories and years with this man…it causes so much worry because I fully understand that life is unpredictable and unfair at times.
Yet with all the worry, there is a peace. A peace that has proved itself through the turbulent past. The peace that never let me fall. The peace that said I may not understand the moment, but I know who knows my future and has it prepared for His glory.
So as I wait beside this dear man, I hold onto the knowledge that we are loved by One who knows our hearts, feels our worries with us and provides His peace.
and frankly…that is what gets us through all.
Categories: Diary entry June