Snark Attack

I found this wonderful post over at Bliss Habit about letting your snarky side out.

SNARK – noun
Combination of “snide” and “remark”. Sarcastic comment(s).

Oh let me tell you…the snark is strong with me. It’s been with me all my life and shows up in just about every situation. I am positive that my family members and friends who are reading this are nodding their heads so much they will have to see a chiropractor for adjustment.

I have three kinds of snark:

Snark Lite, Snark Deluxe and SNARK ATTACK

Snark Lite is what gets practiced on the young beings in my house. It’s the subtle hint of sarcasm that keeps them questioning reason in a healthy way. It answers their questions with a silliness and ridiculous manner that helps their own creative side. Snark Lite is essential for childhood development (that explanation is its own twist of snark) Its the answer to the question “May I have a 6th glass of milk?” of “Sure, let me just go milk the cow tethered in the back yard.” Or perhaps “Mommy are you mad?” with “Why on Earth would I be mad?”

Snark Deluxe is an upgraded model used to integrate dry humor and opinion of willing friend participants. Having a friend willing to engage in a tennis match of snark is essential for me to release some steam of enduring another Backyardigan episode. It’s the phone call from a friend that asks “Hey, can you talk?” and doing nothing but pushing buttons in their ear because I am obviously capable of speech so why would you ask???

Then there is Snark Attack. This is the form that comes out when my anger is building and although I don’t want to blow up, I want to attack. I want to give the suggestion of being mad and give the other person the chance to see the error in their ways. ‘Cause of course it’s them and not me. (Snark Deluxe right there folks)

I’m trying to get to a point in my life where rather than passive aggressive smartness in the face of possible confrontation; I own my anger. Owning it says I value myself enough to be clear and understood. Owning it says that my feelings dont need to incognito among a clever stream of words, but rather naked and vulnerable. Snark Attack is my defense mechanism, my Plan A and my Plan B.

Although some Snark Lite or Snark Deluxe is an integral part of my genetic makeup along with my big hips; it doesn’t need to be used to serve up a verbal slap.

What about you and your snark? Why and how do you banter with sarcasm?

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5 replies

  1. I too have issues with the Snark Attack, but I’m sure you’re not surprised! My mom used to say, “You’re getting snippy with me young lady!” which would get a blank I-don’t-know-what-you’re-talking-about stare. She hated that! Hehehe, good times 🙂

  2. Wow! Thanks for mentioning my post! I’ve definitely been afraid of Snark Attack. I hope to be cultivating a lot of Snark Lite and Snark Deluxe now that I’ve let them out of the bag!! Thanks for affirming Snark is important and making me realize I’m not scaring my 5 year old, I’m providing input “essential for child development!”

  3. Anyone born before 1991 was embedded with the snark gene at the time of conception. The TV series borne in the 70s and 80s taught us how to quib and make indirect fun out of disobedience. Which then gave way to attitudes and Valley Girls (I was not born in the “Valley” but I was like “Oh My God”…). And I was knee deep in the middle of it. As I have signed a few divorce papers I’ve tried to learn to Dr Phil my feelings and learn from my mistakes however I still have a pet snark living in my mental basement and he needs petted and fed all the time. Part of who I am. He just says “Eff off” when he’s had enough these days. Life is too short. I heard a good one on Great Race “They can go on and drink their Hatorade.” Loved that.

  4. I have all three of those snarks living inside me. (proof that my snark lite is alive and well is all the snark lite my daughter has been dishing out to me lately)

    A little less Snark Attack would be a good thing. I’m working on that.


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