It’s the difference in “Conviction” and “Conceding.”
It’s the difference in being a “Wimp” or a “Warrior.”
You’ve given it your all in a project, relationship or goal. You reach a point where you throw your hands in the air and scream, “I GIVE UP!”
Does that mean you are a failure or are you fighting over your line in the sand?
“Giving up” or being a “Wimp” is a loss of faith in your self and your abilities. It employs the “Back Away Plan.”
“Drawing the line” or being a “Warrior” is a strengthening of your self and your abilities. It implements the “Back Up Plan.”
For example: Relationships. You reach a moment where you “give up.”
1) Was it because you have tried and tried to understand, improve or mend the broken areas of the relationship and you came to a moment where you didn’t know what else you could possibly do? So in hopelessness you walked away?
2) Was it because you knew ahead of time what you wanted out of the relationship and what you would and would not tolerate? When that line was crossed, did you walk away in confidence and strength?
The person in Example 1 walked away defeated. The Back Away Plan.
The person in Example 2 walked away strengthened. The Back Up Plan.
The difference is Person 2 knew their limits. They had a clear definition in their heart of their line in the sand based on their self-worth. They had a “Back Up Plan” to move on in case their original expectations weren’t fulfilled.
Person 1 was unsure of what to do because they lacked the foresight to draw a clear definition of what the final picture would look like. They had a “Back Away Plan” that allowed them to escape uncertainty.
We all have situations daily that allow us to be a “Warrior” or a “Wimp.” It’s up to us to begin believing in ourselves. Not allowing someone else to define what our line is, but valuing ourselves to set clear cut boundaries based on our strengths and weaknesses. Deciding that we are worth fighting for and our heart’s voice deserves to be heard.
That way when failure knocks on our door in the form of a lost relationship, goal or project we know whether we are “Backing Away” in concession or “Backing Up” in conviction.
Are you going to be a Wimp or a Warrior?
What are you when you just keep trudging forward despite all odds. Is that person an ostrich, blinding themself by keeping their head in the sand? Or is it just determination to keep at it? Good Blog.
I think if you are doing that, you need to determine where your end is. Do you have a blind hope towards an unobtainable utopia or do you consider the object you are after worth the fight and you are following a plan or goal? It all boils down to the underlying feeling of weakness or strength and how whatever you are doing feeds those two feelings.
I love when you write like tghis Alycia..it puts so many things into perspective for me. I love the Back Up Plan as oppossed to the Back Away Plan. It’s the perfect way to explain what you want to get out of live and how you choose to live yours. Once again your words touched me.
I remember telling my new husband (we got married having known each other for 6 weeks) that I didn’t believe in divorce and was in this no matter what but if he EVER hit me … I would leave immediately … no second chances. Having known the man now for 33 years I have discovered that he has a gentle spirit that did not need the warning. But even at 20 I knew I had to have a line and stand on it. For myself and my children!
I have spent many years backing away, but I’m not sure I would define it the same as you have here. Yes, I have had those kind of backing away moments too, and I sincerely hope that when I’m old and gray and my life passes before my eyes I will see many more Back Up moments than Back Away. I hear I’m quite tenacious so, maybe.