Am I A Proverbs 31 Woman?

I have heard a lot of talk lately of this Proverbs 31 Woman. I decided to read it carefully and see how I stack up against this model of the perfect woman….
Proverbs 31
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies. (Are we talking man-made generated WalMart sold rubies…cause I can get one of those for $29.99. This is not making a case for my great vale so far)
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value. (Lacks nothing of value? Are you kidding me? We have kids. Most everything is chipped, wrote on or has been thrown away.)
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life. (OK so there was that time I spilled conditioner in the bottom of the tub and he slipped, but it wasn’t on purpose. Or that time he drank spoiled milk and got ill at his stomach. Again, not my fault.)
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands. (I started embroidering a pillow case a few weeks ago…1 point for me!!!)
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar. (Grocery store is like 5 miles away. Although shopping with all the little kids does count in the Great Adventure and makes it seem as though it was in far away lands among great peril)
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants. (More like I get up in the night and scrounge me a bite of chocolate that was hidden from everyone but me)
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. (I have killed every houseplant that has been integrated into this household. I don’t see a vineyard happening.)
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks. (I can carry 9 bags of groceries in the house, one sleeping child and another one screaming for her gummy snacks around my ankles. I have possibly nailed this one.)
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night. (My lamp usually doesn’t go out because by the time I crawl into bed I am way too exhausted to lean over and flip it off. Besides if it is off then it is more likely that I will lame myself on Legos and Hot Wheels)
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers. (I lose major points for not even knowing what a “distaff” is and the whole spindle thing I avoid because I really don’t need to be around sharp pointy objects. Also I know what happened to Sleeping Beauty and I’m not going that route.)
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy. (If it counts that I try to answer every request for another glass of milk, another plate of food, one more cookie, etc….I am golden!)
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet. (I don’t think we own anything scarlet, but when it snows I have  made sure that we have bread and milk and nice warm footie pjs. If they complain that it is still too cold; I tell them to run in circles until they warm up)
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple. (I hardly ever get the bed made and my clothing is covered in children’s food, snot and slobber.)
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. (City gate? We don’t have one of those, but I think he is pretty welcomed by the ducks when he takes the kids to feed them our stale bread)
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes. (What is it with the sewing stuff? I have a basket of clothes under my laundry room table that need buttons, seams sewed, etc. I guess I better get cracking on those!)
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come. (Oh…I laugh, but mostly because I lost my mind.)
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue. (You’ll poke your eye out, You’ll break something, You are gonna get in trouble….Yeah, I got that one in the bag!)
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.(SURE…I have never sat and watched a TV program when the floors needed to be swept. I sure didn’t eat any crackers and cheese while doing it…*rolls eyes*)
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her: (Today alone I heard “I hate you.” “You are the meanest mommy ever.”…this is not going well)
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.” (Hmmm….according to my research on FaceBook there are lots of women who maintain perfect house, cook gourmet meals daily, have perfect children and still have time to whip out a craft or two…I digress…)
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. (Another point for me…I am proof as I rub in my Oil of Olay and tuck my muffin top in a pair of Spanx that beauty indeed does flee.)
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. (Once again we are back to the city gate thing…)

OK I don’t know about you, but I didn’t measure up so well against this Proverbs 31 woman. I don’t know who she is, but if she ever requests my friendship on FaceBook; I am rejecting it because I don’t need anymore of a complex.

I am certainly not a perfect woman by the definition of that Scripture, but I do know that I am “wonderfully and fearfully made.” I don’t do good at the coupon thing. I fail at nutritionally balanced meals. My laundry is always behind. My floors are not perfectly swept. I’m not always a perfect mom and I lose my cool sometimes. I don’t always talk nicely to my family/friends. I grumble and complain. I got some skeletons in my closet. I got some baggage at my feet.

I am forgiven. I am loved. I was created with a purpose and a plan.


Categories: Uncategorized

5 replies

  1. Brilliant. Perfect. Wonderful. As ever. Do you know that I wakeup to your subscribe emails? A good start to my day. Insight. Chuckles. Things to think about. ‘Wonderful Wrangler’. A woman after my own heart.

  2. I am forgiven. I am loved. I was created with a purpose and a plan.

    That line alone defeats the Proverbs 31 woman. 😉

  3. We strive — we fail. No one is perfect… All God asks us to do is try.

  4. best. post. EVER! I LOVED IT!!!!! (and my sides hurt from laughing so hard!)

  5. I think there’s more to the Proverbs 31 woman than people initially realize when just reading the passage. I’ve incidentally been reading a new book by Dr. Tony Evans and his daughter, Chrystal Evans Hurst called “Kingdom Woman” that has given me new insights. Right off the bat they talk about the Proverbs 31 woman being the hallmark of kingdom women, “But the Proverbs 31 woman is not the model of a perfect woman. Neither is a kingdom woman called to perfection. Women, you can be a Proverbs 31 woman and more – but that doesn’t mean you do it all at the same time.” They talk about life flowing through seasons and about getting help, not trying to do it all. It’s really eye-opening. If you’re interested in Dr. Evan’s book, they have information and even free devotional downloads at I hope it blesses you as it has blessed me.

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