Heartful From A Handful

It’s been weird around here. Good weird. Bad weird. Just weird.

I’ve had to just pull away from writing for a while. I began Nanowrimo with a bang. Knocking out words and spilling it all out on paper. Then I stopped. I wasn’t doing my usual fiction, but rather working on a story about suicide. My story, the girls’ story and his story. In all of my campaign to begin living and laughing again, I was having to revisit. I pushed and I wasn’t ready. I stopped. Then a lot has been going on that I didn’t want to talk about on my blog or FaceBook yet. Good stuff, but weird.

The holidays started and I began decorating. I worried the holidays would be tough for all of us. I realized that in my decorating and our family festivities that we weren’t missing him the way we should. There weren’t any traditions before this. He hated holidays. By celebrating, I already excluded him.

In addition to all of that, I have been spending a lot of time with the guy I have been dating. Good times, fun times. I have neglected (on purpose) to mention to you, my readers, that he is a single dad. A dad of 5 boys. Yes, I have 3 girls.

Go ahead and do the math, I’ll wait.

Go ahead and laugh, I’ll wait.

Make a comment about the Brady Bunch, I’ll wait and laugh along with you.

With 8 children running around I find myself with little time (or presence of mind) to write. I didn’t want to write about all of it yet. I wanted to hold onto my little secret, but it’s out now. My friends here giggle about it. Our church refers to us as a “crew” or a “herd.” My family has to brace for the little field trip that files into family functions. We use words like “blending” and “group rates.” It’s crazy. It’s loud. It’s perfect.

I was decorating for Christmas and it was decided that we would have Santa visit all of the children at my house. Of the “Santa believing” age; there are 6. Well one doesn’t really believe anymore, but he humors us. I hung 6 stockings in front of the fireplace and began laughing. Imagining the chaos that is going to be Christmas morning as half a dozen little hands fling wrapping paper around my house. I’m sure the oldest two will be nose deep in an Ipod or something, but 6 voices will be squealing at the joy of Santa. This will not be a calm, serene Norman Rockwell painting, but I can’t imagine it being any more perfect.

So there it is, my readers; my friends. A dramatic difference than where we were just a short time ago. God is a good God who provides our needs, sometimes more than what we expected. He has shown me that sometimes a “handful” is really more of a “heartful.” Sometimes life does indeed hand you lemons, but if you hand those lemons back to God….well, sometimes he throws in a ton of sweet stuff and shoves it all in a “blender.”


Categories: Uncategorized

10 replies

  1. This makes me smile. Your interpretation is perfect.

  2. Your posts never cease to move me to tears, but I think your ending–about God sweetening up those lemons and putting them in a blender? It’s perfection. I love that you consider it a heartful over a handful, and I know that they will keep you busy. I have 1 boy and he keeps me busy all day long.

    Much love to you, Alycia. THank you for being my friend and your support. While you were away, GC went through a bunch of testing, and I am so pleased to tell you that they all came up negetive for cancer. I will also tell you that during this time of waiting, it was anguish. I would cry and cry, at every given opportunity. Sometimes I would even let “why” creep into my thoughts. Somewhere along the way, the crying stopped, and I felt comforted. I know that He was carrying me at that point and it was something I needed to know too. I had forgotten the comfort that only God can provide. I wanted to thank you for your prayers also and let you know the outcome so far.

    He has markers due to his heart condition and an infection they haven’t pinpointed yet. One is manageable, the other is treatable. ❀

    • I am so thrilled with this report. Praise God for “manageable” and “treatable” Those are some sweet words to hear! Those moments when you are doing battle alone are such torture. You feel so little. Yet when HE steps in to comfort and provide…wow…HE is so BIG!
      Thank you so much for being MY friend and MY support. I love knowing that you are out there and just a click away! Much love to you!!!

  3. I did the math, and I am laughing! Laughing because we serve a God that knows our needs before we even know them. I am laughing also, because I am happy that you are happy. You deserve it! Hope that this is your best holiday season yet. Sounds like Santa has already brought you exactly what you wanted. Much love.

  4. I am so incredibly happy for you!!! Happiness suites you well πŸ™‚

  5. I am so very happy for you ❀

  6. So very happy for you! πŸ™‚

  7. This was the first thing I read early this morning. I couldn’t wait to get on the computer tonight so I could reply. I am so very happy for you, Alycia! You and your precious girls deserve this! I have four, one of my best friends has 7. There’s not a lot more noise, but there is a whole lot more fun and excitement! Thinking about Christmas morning at your house made me all teary eyed and giddy. How fun it will be for you all! I can hardly wait to see pictures!! God will continue to bless you, dear friend!

  8. My computer crashed and i lost my list of favorite blogs. I am so glad I found you on twitter tonight. how are you doing, how are the girls

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