I am strong because I have been brought to my knees in weakness during my life. I’m compassionate because I have known suffering. I am alive because I am full of passion and a fighter. I am wise because I’ve been fooled many times. And I can laugh because I have known sadness and sadness did not win.

Recently one of my dearest photography friends sent me this little statement.

The operating word is: “BECAUSE”

“Because” is the perfect answer to the “Why?” Often times we look at those who exemplify character that we wish we had and wonder “Why?” are they like that.

That statement above perfectly describes me. I keep getting comments and emails that pat me on the back for my determination, humour (spelled especially for Jane and Sandi) and grace during this time. I only got those things “BECAUSE“…

Because I dealt with years under the rule of a mentally ill husband….I’ve gained compassion and understanding.

Because I have had a loved one commit suicide….I’ve reached out to those who may be struggling and never take a moment with anyone for granted.

Because I watched my daughter struggle with Aspergers and try harder every day….I’ve learned patience and anything is possible.

Because I held my children as they broke at the news of their father being dead….I’ve gained a strength I didn’t know was possible.

Because I have crumbled to the floor in fear of “where do we go next”….I’ve gained determination.

Because I have cried alone in the dark of the night…I’ve gained the ability to see the small quirks of life and laugh.

Because I didn’t know how I could possibly go on living as the most wonderful police officer explained that nothing could be done and Dan was lost forever….I decided to live for today only. Celebrate our small victories. Understand I may lose a battle, but never the war. Have faith that our needs will be met in a manner beyond measure. Trust that my family and friends will always catch me when I fall. Love as though my heart will never be broken. Cry and understand that I’m not showing weakness; I’m showing a willingness to learn and be broken. Believing that when I feel frayed and tattered; that the reality is my life is being woven into something special designed for me.

Honestly I would do anything in my power to take away the “Because” in so many situations, but I have learned that they are my “Why.” I can’t control the things that come crashing into my plans and tangling them up into a mess. I can however see the lessons just waiting to be taught and the silver lining behind every storm cloud.

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