*Thank you to @Nakdgirlinadress for helping me out today for giving me something to think about, write about and work to overcome.
The wrinkles are gathered around my eyes like the end piece of twisted plastic on a piece of hard candy.
The gray hairs are as unwelcome as a dandelion puff on a manicured golf course for the elite pocketbooks and as I pluck them I can almost hear the offended gasps of the dandelion haters.
Yet, before I started scrutinizing all the crinkles, wrinkles, bumps and lumps…something else far more concerning greeted me in the mirror. A feeling so strong it was more physically apparent to my criticizing eyes than a middle age arm wiggle.
It shows as shackles on my feet. It keeps me from boldly striding towards a group of people for fear that my words will not be witty, educated or welcome enough to be allowed within their circle.
It shows as bonds around my wrists. It prevents me from picking up something new for fear that I will fail long before I see success in my work.
It shows as a restraint in my mouth. It keeps me silent for fear that I will be misunderstood or rejected for my thoughts.
Where it shows the most though is a thick, coarse binding across my eyes.
It shows because it has changed the way I see myself. It cleverly blinds me into thinking that I will never be good enough, smart enough, pretty enough….
As a blindfold prevents all light from reaching the eyes, “Inadequacy” prevents all truth from reaching the heart.
It whispers convincingly and seductively that your words don’t matter, that your touch won’t be returned, that your sincerity will be laughed at and your physical smile will be mocked.
There are times in my life that those things happened, but I placed the blindfold on myself and it changed my view. I left the binding in place and refused to see truth because my fear was rationalized away as a healthy protection from pain.
How much have I not seen because I was blinded by “Inadequacy?”
How many times has “Inadequacy” been forced to truth by my own inaction?