It’s no secret anymore, although its been one that I kept under careful control for years. My heart is damaged. Not my physical heart, but one much more precious than that. My heart; the inner beat that makes me who I am.
I’m finally in a place that allows my heart to beat the way it was meant to, but the guarded fences are there.
Just like an actual yard where a fence shows the boundaries, my heart has these fences. Knowing that they are there and those who really love me respect those invisible lines; helps me in my relationships. The fences are not standing to prevent myself from ever being touched or loved; they are simply there to guard what it rightfully mine.
The thing that nobody will be allowed to trespass on.
For too many years my heart was broken time and time again, believing the words of another. Thinking that for the longest time, perhaps I didn’t really know who I was. By chance that person may be right about what they see and I was unworthy.
A small part of me constantly rallied against the emotional battle. It remembered the truths and promises. Regardless of past mistakes or mistakes that had yet to be committed; I was never unworthy.
Not unworthy of a kind word.
Not unworthy of an earned compliment.
Not unworthy of a gentle touch.
Not unworthy of love.
That small voice was guarded carefully behind the fence. Untouchable.
I am finally to a point where I will guard that fence with my life. I will declare that what is behind that fence is worth fighting for.
Oh….and if you can play nice…bring your toys over and I’ll let you play in my yard.