Fences

  There is a saying that good fences make good neighbors. I believe this to be true also with a person’s heart.

It’s no secret anymore, although its been one that I kept under careful control for years. My heart is damaged. Not my physical heart, but one much more precious than that. My heart; the inner beat that makes me who I am.

I’m finally in a place that allows my heart to beat the way it was meant to, but the guarded fences are there.

Just like an actual yard where a fence shows the boundaries, my heart has these fences. Knowing that they are there and those who really love me respect those invisible lines; helps me in my relationships. The fences are not  standing to prevent myself from ever being touched or loved; they are simply there to guard what it rightfully mine.

The thing that nobody will be allowed to trespass on.

Me.

For too many years my heart was broken time and time again, believing the words of another. Thinking that for the longest time, perhaps I didn’t really know who I was. By chance that person may be right about what they see and I was unworthy.

A small part of me constantly rallied against the emotional battle. It remembered the truths and promises. Regardless of past mistakes or mistakes that had yet to be committed; I was never unworthy.

Not unworthy of a kind word.

Not unworthy of an earned compliment.

Not unworthy of a gentle touch.

Not unworthy of love.

That small voice was guarded carefully behind the fence. Untouchable.

I am finally to a point where I will guard that fence with my life. I will declare that what is behind that fence is worth fighting for.

Oh….and if you can play nice…bring your toys over and I’ll let you play in my yard.



Categories: divorce, emotional abuse, emotional fences

12 replies

  1. You definitely are NOT unworthy of love, kind words, gentleness or any other good thing.

    • Thank you friend…I enjoyed your comment yesterday on living in the moment! Great point about “stepping out of the worry and into the now”

  2. WORTHY is a word I think of when I think of you even before this post.

    Even in turmoil, your strength is inspiring, and your heart is safe here. I promise.

    *hug*

  3. It’s great to see you dust yourself off and keep on playing hard!

  4. Hugs hugs and more hugs! You are worthy of SO much love and more! hugs (I am bringing my toys and messy boys over into your ‘fenced’ yard so we can chat, enjoy sweet tea, and remind YOU of how special you are. hugs

  5. You are definitely worthy of love and kindness, Miss Alycia! And I promise I will play nicely when I come over!

  6. I have toys, and an alarm clock, and I play nice.
    Fences are fine, good and effective.
    They are movable.
    Walls, thick solid walls are not.
    They block light and they take ages to maintain and
    then to dismantle.
    I built walls.
    Fences are better
    Aware Alycia.

  7. All too familiar with these thoughts. Someone very close to me has gone the same issues. Life is already tough … then it throws all this around. You are worthy of many things. Remember this and you will surely start on your road to freeing yourself from the old. ((((((Alycia))))))

  8. Oh, my dear, you are SO WORTHY. Worthy of love and respect and kind words and having someone be gentle with your beautiful heart.

  9. you are so worthy, many days you have made me smile. I wish I lived closer so we could play

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