Must Have Items For Real Moms

The Things That I Need
Sing to the tune of “My Favorite Things”
Time by myself with no children screaming,
Time to eat cake and do some daydreaming.
A cream to make all of my stretch marks recede,
These are a few of the things that I need.
Sippies that have a homing beacon that blinks,
A button that removes all the toothpaste from sinks.
Working cleaners that won’t melt brains or make noses bleed
These are a few of the things that I need.
When I hear a baby scream,
When the toddlers mean
When I need a drink
I simply imagine the things that I need
And then I don’t feel so bad.
Legos with edges that won’t cut a foot,
Magic that makes all the puzzle pieces stay put.
A vaccum that spits out the toys and still does its deed
These are a few of the things that I need.
 A bathroom break with nobody knocking
Shirts that repel puke and no runs in my stocking
As moms I think that we are all nodding and agreed.
Skip the spa trip!! These are the real things we need.
When I hear a baby scream,
When the toddlers mean
When I need a drink
I simply imagine the things that I need
And then I don’t feel so bad.

What are some things you think REAL moms need?


Categories: songs

7 replies

  1. You forgot the most essential:C.O.F.F.E.E.

  2. Awesome. Simply Awesome. Made my night! Thanks for sharing.

  3. Wow, missing sippy cups, and you wrote a whole song?!? That's impressive! 🙂

  4. Good friends! ;)And, some wine to share with them! (Actually, I'm more of a Mike's Lemonade girl…)

  5. Hahahaha! That is hilarious! I love it 🙂 And it fits in with the song so well. This is a song that I don't mind having stuck in my head, lol.

  6. GREAT job! Hilarious. How about 'not being a jungle gym'?

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