Public Speaker Fear

I am not afraid of snakes. I am not afraid of the dark. I am not afraid of the boogie man.

So what am I afraid of?

Google Images
That, my friends, is a speaker at a drive thru. It is my greatest fear and it is not fast food chain specific. It could be at the bank, the pharmacy drive-thru…wherever a speaker is installed.
Here is the scenario.  I leave my house with the intent of going to a specific fast food restaurant. Most of the fast food places around here have been here for at least 15 years. I know the menu like I know my own birthday. I prepare ahead of time for my order, know exactly what I want and have the money in my hand. Then I pull up to the speaker.
All common sense leaves my head, all previous knowledge of the menu board is erased and my tongue ties in knots. Then they ask me what I want….D’oh. I stammer out something like “Uh..uh…wait a minute..uh…OK?”
I search the board as though I am reading Egyptian Hieroglyphs and try to locate the value menu and the kids menu. It’s a hamburger joint…why can’t I find the double cheeseburgers and how much are they? Do I get the .99 one or the 3.49 one…what’s the difference? What do the kids want (They are usually behind me screaming “Chicken, Fries and Coke” but it doesn’t seem to make sense at the time)
“Um, Ma’am…it’s been 10 minutes, are you ready to order now?”
According to The Head Crayon who has been with me many times, I utter out an order that sounds like a caveman talking. I truly have no idea what I have just ordered and can’t figure out why it costs $28. I am sure there are many order takers who have decided to go back to college and get a degree because they can’t deal with people like me at the drive thru. I feel sorry for them, but it’s just the best I can do.
I go and collect my 55 gallon sack of food and its always a surprise of what we actually are having for dinner.
I am The Crayon Wrangler and I am afraid of public speakers.

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