I mentioned before that The Grays have this thing for The Weather Channel. By using the word “thing” I am referring to a total consuming obsession. They will sit there for hours watching weather report after weather report. The only thing that makes them turn the channel is for the local news. All 8 times that it comes on in a day.
During this weather marathon is a constant commentary by the female Gray (the male Gray is mostly deaf so he just watches the pictures) on what is being said. “It is snowing in D.C.” “Did you see the pictures of the snow in D.C.?” “Did you know it is snowing in D.C.?” “Holy Jehoshaphat, it is snowing in D.C.!” She never knows what the weather is actually doing right here in our city, but she can tell you how much rain Podunk, Montana has gotten over the past 7 days. She’ll even tell you 11 times so you are sure to know.
Then when the local news comes on she just watches snippets of each channel. Constantly switching back and forth between the 3 local channels to see what each news reporter is saying and then its almost a conspiracy if one of the channels predicts a low that is one degree lower than what the other two channels said. She will feign interest in an actual news story by saying “I have to watch the news at 6, because they are doing a piece about that girl” I’ll ask “What girl” She’ll say “You know that one that did that thing some time ago” I’ll say “What did she do” She’ll sigh with exasperation “You know THAT thing, don’t you ever watch the news?”
I am not bothered by her exasperation as I know it is all a plot to watch more weather. I have harnessed the power of auto tuning the television though so when my shows come on, or the all saving Dora at dinner preparation comes on; it automatically switches to that channel and can’t be overridden unless you know how to operate the remote. She doesn’t know how to do this and probably thinks it is some kind of voo-doo on the t.v. I’ll sit down to watch some Jack Bauer and she will quietly sulk off to her room, destroyed at being denied watching the 8’s on The Weather Channel.
I think she fancies herself a news reporter of sorts herself. Kind of like becoming a news reporter through osmosis from all the news she watches herself. All day long I receive a commentary of what is being done, even though I can clearly see it myself. “Belly is playing with her blocks” “Buzz is playing with the baby” “You are washing dishes” If I don’t seem interested in the news report, she will call another family member or friend and tell them. “Belly is playing with her blocks, Buzz is playing with the baby and she is washing dishes…can you believe all that? Now she is staring at me. Now she is walking across the floor. Now she is grabbing my pho….”
The worse part of all of it is she is a mumbler and she waits until I am busy with running water, screaming child, etc. before she says anything. I see her mouth moving and turn off the water “What did you say, I couldn’t hear you.” I strain my ears and lean her direction. “mumble-mumble” I clap my hand over the child’s mouth and hush them.”I still can’t hear you…” Then she finally yells so I can hear her “I said it is snowing in D.C.!”