There are many irritations that come along with having a driver’s license. Such as, driving in traffic, that pesky “E” light that dings when you have passed the last gas station for 50 miles or that little old lady in front of you that doesn’t remember that her left blinker is on for six. whole. miles. while. you. are. stuck. behind. her. going. 20mph.
But the one that gets to me the most is a backseat driver who is sitting right beside you barking out their driving knowledge in your ear. There is no escape unless you have mastered the move of opening their door, while driving and pushing them out. Even then they would probably yell as their body is rolling down the asphalt…”Keep both hands on the wheel!!!”
Even recently I have totally kept my cool while driving in blinding rain with 3 Scribblers screaming at ear bleeding decibels while throwing who knows what at the back of my head!! But when The Head Crayon rides with me…oh dear…my hands shake, my stomach rolls and my mouth is nothing but overbearing cotton balls.
The Head Crayon is a driving genius. He knows at what precise time you need to apply the brakes, what pressure to apply and how many times you need to check all your mirrors and your blind spot. He
shouts gently reminds me of these things.
Sometimes I just want to open my own door, bail and scream as my body bounces across 4 lanes of traffic. Fine then…YOU DRIVE!
How he sees the faint red glare of taillights 3 miles away and starts in with the “Brakes…Brakes…Apply Brakes” chant…I will never know and….psst…I don’t care.
All I do know is that give me 3 screaming, yodeling and opera singing Scribblers any day over a back seat driver! I’ll even greatly accept an orange slushie dripping off the back of my head.