Much like Paul Revere’s ride through the town hollering, “The British Are Coming…The British Are Coming” we now have all the major networks beginning to scream “A Snowflake Is Coming…A Snowflake Is Coming”
As is the tradition here in The South, a mere snowflake has hoards of people standing in front of the milk coolers, the bread aisle and the gigantic pyramid of bulk toilet paper at the store clamoring in a scene more appropriate for closing bell at the Stock Market.
Heaven forbid you be the poor soul that grabs the last 48 rolls of super plush triple rolls. You’d best have on your best hockey gear to prepare you for the beating from the canes and the “accidental” shin ramming of the metal carts.
Children begin to beg for you to turn off that high pitched voice of the squishy sponge-dude and turn to the local news. They suffer through sports scores, traffic reports and that one interview of the guy wearing the John Deere hat who is suing the city because his outhouse sludge is covering the front yard; all for a glimpse of the cartoon friendly penguin letting them know if their school has been called out. ( I am frankly surprised that anyone in these here parts knows what a penguin is and thinks them to be trustworthy! Which comes to a question that I asked of my favorite high North neighbor…do you have to thaw a fresh penguin before cooking? Aren’t they perpetually frozen? Not that I am cooking penguins or anything, it’s just one of the things that plagues my mind!)
So we are now on “Winter Storm Watch” and anticipating a “Snow Event” (wonder if there will be tailgating for this? Better get the stadium chairs and the 55 gallon drum of chili ready just in case) My husband braved our WalMart last night…
…and brought us home the last 2 gallons of milk, a case of Chicken Noodle soup and a John Wayne movie. I think we are good to survive the impending blizzard now. (They were out of toilet paper, but since we are trying to move, we have plenty of packing materials for just such an emergency…although I am doubting the effectiveness of bubble wrap, it should be a fun experience for the kids)