There are parts of your pregnancy that you forget. I don’t know if you are just so sleep deprived that it seems like a hallucination or if God gives you a brain enema so you will have another child. Anyways, these parts that have been flushed away from faint memories are coming back to me.
Makes me wonder what part of the whole newborn stage I have forgotten as well…
The first thing that started creeping up was “The Belly Button” All of a sudden one day I put on a shirt and “BAM” that cute little innie that I once possessed is now poking and stretching itself out like a turtle coming out of his shell.
I put on a heavier weight shirt. “POP” Yup, still detectable.
Sweater + undershirt. It’s there.
Cover with bandaid. Now I have a big square sticking out. Can nothing contain this little fleshy beast from poking its head out? Seriously?
Next, we have the itching. The whole belly (which extends all the way behind to the spine) is now one big itchy globe. Lotion? Only if you can get it in a 55 gallon drum with an applicator.
Red palms anyone? I had to google that one because I figured I was the only pregnant freak who had flaming red palms. Turns out is a hormone thing.
Isn’t EVERYTHING a hormone thing?
My hopes of being a case study and receiving thousands of dollars for my participation in the Red Palm Freak Show are dashed. It’s not that odd to be caught red handed.
What about the mutating blob that is the belly? That point where you can see elbows and knees slowly rise from one side and glide to the other side. Some days it appears that I am only pregnant on the left side of my body, as Baby Bigfoot has migrated all of herself over there to play with that kidney. I am still trying to locate her bladder within my body, so I can poke it over and over and teach her all about fair play.
I have heard rumors and studies about some interesting things that are going on with the girlie bits. Those I can’t confirm. I lost sight of everything past the belly button about 4 weeks ago.
I think I mentioned something about sleep deprivation earlier. Ummm…yeah. That’s not going too well. Sleeping like a baby??? Yup, I am up every 2 hours, crying and wanting something to eat.
There are plenty of other pregnancy discomforts, but because male members of my family read this and I have to face them over the Christmas dinner, I will leave it at that. You KNOW what I am talking about.
On a side note: Buzz has taken to shining a flashlight at my belly and singing because she is convinced that Baby is afraid of the dark. She’s a funny kid who can’t wait to be a big sister to ANYONE (but Belly) who is in the throes of two year old misery.