Someone Tried To Poison My Kids – Kinda

We have all heard the rumors about Halloween candy being passed out with razor blades in it. You never really think that something like that might happen, but it is always in the back of your mind.

Halloween for us started off busy. Trying to do a little packing, some painting, The Man had to go buy a new car and getting ready to Trick or Treat. So as I scurried around trying to get things done, I got a little sloppy and spilled paint on my kitchen cabinets. Not having time to go to the store and pick up some Goof Off, I called family. My mom ended up having some and told me that she would pour me some in a bottle and give it to me that night when we saw her.

Hours passed and it was finally time to go. I dropped The Man off at the car lot and proceeded to go to my sister’s house for the Trick or Treating. It was then that I realized that I had forgotten the kids’ pumpkins for their loot. I tried to go back home, but realized that I had given The Man the garage door opener and therefore, couldn’t get in the house. I called my sister and she had a couple of extras so we just went on.

My brain was fried by this time, retaining no knowledge of any previous conversations.

Got to my sister’s and visited for a little bit before we went to gather loads of candy. My mother had brought a bag for me with coupons and such in it. I didn’t look in it at the time. After the candy gathering, I gave my sister her bags back and dumped all the kids’ candy in the bag my mother had brought for me.

Do you remember that my mom was bringing me Goof Off? I didn’t.

Fast forward until today. I finally got out a big glass bowl to dump all the candy in. In dumping the candy, I noticed this bottle with something in it…I thought at first it was bubbles or something, but the color was wrong. My heart began to pound as I opened the top and sniffed it. Definitely a chemical of some kind. My mind flashed to the razor blade scenario. Would it be inconceivable for someone sick and twisted to put a liquid in a candy bag for a child to drink? Nope, not in my mind.

I screamed to my husband to come look at it. I then launched into my plan. I would put it in a plastic bag to preserve whatever fingerprints may be on it. I would then go look at the map and have all the street names of where we had visited that night. Then I would call the police to alert them to the situation and take my bag in to be analyzed. A news reporter would come to my house and interview me, praising me for my keen observation of this liquid. I would save countless other children who may have received this poison. The city would recognize me as a hero, I would never pay taxes again….

OK, well actually we can stop at the call police department part. I had the phone in my hand to make the call. I was sweating, crying and worrying myself sick…

…then The Man asks me if my mother ever gave me that bottle of Goof Off.


Categories: children, neurotic, short term memory

14 replies

  1. Hear that? Yes? Scared?You should be, because I am STILL laughing.<3

  2. I can picture me doing the same thing. And, because of my mother's profession, her fingerprints are on file. (Background checks, not something like cat burglar!) Cops to me : Ma'am, we're questioning a suspect now.Cops to my mom : Ma'am, your fingerprints are on the container. We know you tried to poison that woman's children.My Mom: I'M GOING TO POISON THAT WOMAN! Ha! Glad your hubby spared you the embarrassment, just so you could go ahead and share it with us!

  3. Oh my Goodness…That was Hilarious.Pregnancy and being overwhelmed with life don't mix!!!I get like that too but not as of lately.Too Funny. 🙂

  4. Blame it on the baby. She won't know. 🙂

  5. That's pretty funny! I had to look up what “goof-off” is. My daughter really likes your mermaid picture in the sidebar. Thanks for being an awesome BlogFrog member!

  6. Hello! I found your blog through BlogFrog and wanted to come over and say congrats on your Premium membership. It hope it is helping to drive lots of new readers your way. I'm so glad you figured out what was in the little bottle – that would have totally freaked me out, too.So nice to discover your blog!Holly (co-founder TheBlogFrog)

  7. It's not GOOF OFF, it's GOO GONE! And I am so glad you didn't get your mom arrested for poisoning her grandchildren! Mimi

  8. Wow…I would have freaked, especially since I am a drug/alcohol counselor and am always looking for the new trends in how to get high easily (not for me of course!). 🙂

  9. HAAAAA that's just tooo much 🙂

  10. hahaha, so funny, fortunately men don't loose their head!

  11. Haha! I love the scenario that played out in your head and you got yourself all the way to when the reporter came to your house!! Too funny!I checked through all my kids candy and threw away many crackle bars because they have so many holes in them I couldnt trust it! My husband was like what are you doing!! Give them to me! Ha!

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