The time at the sound of the tone is now…

My eyes open, feet touch the ground and my ears hear two little girls start screaming for Momma.

The time is now 7am

Sit at the table, eat your breakfast, don’t throw pancakes at your sister, don’t throw them at the dog either, stop blowing bubbles in your milk (where is the dang coffee) don’t drink out of the dog’s water, get back at the table, put your underwear back on, wait those are yesterday’s, take them back off. Please eat your breakfast, don’t argue with me, yes, you do like pancakes! No we are not having cookies, well, I guess cookies are kind of like pancakes. Yes, they are both circles (Yay for knowing your shapes) Alright let’s have cookies then. Good grief you can’t have pancakes now, I already threw them in the trash. Have a cookie, get out of the trash right now. Eww that is dirty, don’t put it in your (ugh, too late) mouth. Spit that out, not on me, spit it in the trash. Where is my coffee?

The time is now 7:15am

Put these clothes on, take the panties off your head, you want to wear rainboots? fine, let’s go outside, don’t slam the door, come back outside, don’t push your sister, don’t poke your sister, just quit looking at your sister, wonder where that coffee is? draw circles with this chalk, quit eating the chalk, take the chalk out of your ear, don’t throw the chalk at your sister, here look at this cool bug, don’t eat the bug, don’t step (crunch) on the bug, don’t wipe your bug slimed shoe on my leg, come inside I have to change my pants, I said go inside, quit screaming, please go inside, don’t slam the door

The time is now 7:45am

Wait right here while I change my pants, where did you go? get out of the bathroom, don’t unroll the toilet paper, why did you unroll all of the toilet paper? Put down the toothpaste, please don’t squeeze that on your sister, hush, it’s just toothpaste please don’t cry it comes off, don’t wipe it on the walls, here take this towel and wipe it off the walls, I said don’t put it on your sister, don’t slap her back, let go of her hair, let go of my hair (I need to pull it out on my own) let’s go back outside, where did your clothes go?

The time is now 8am

where is the coffee, where is the coffee, where is the coffee

The time is now 8:01am

looking under bed for hidden clothes and discovers 15 empty packs of gummy fruits. No wonder you didn’t want breakfast. Oh, those aren’t yours they are the ducks? So not only did you take the special treats without asking you are pulling a Robin Hood so that the ducks get treats too? No I don’t think gummies will make ducks happy, Why don’t we get some cracked corn out for them. By george, ducks will eat gummies. Thank you for that new fact for the day. Here is your new fact, NO MORE GUMMIES for you today or for any of your animal or immaginary friends. You are going on Gummie Detox. Where is sister? Is that the cookie jar I hid? How on earth did you eat that many cookies in that short of time? You are going on Cookie Detox. I am going on coffee detox whether I like it or not. Take a garbage bag to your room and pick up all those wrappers, all of them, one doesn’t count. Come with me little sister, I have to get you cleaned up and de-crumbed, Bug what are you doing on the counter? What are you drinking out of my coffee cup? Oh, you found my cappacino powder and are making yourself a cup? Ummm. No. Let me see how much you have wasted. You mean you ate 4 Tbps of dried coffee, sugar and caffiene, is this why you are bouncing now? Stop running in circles doing the Tarzan yell, you are frightening your sister (and me) get back outside and let’s leave the energy out there (surveys can to discover that there is not enough powedry goodness left for me) Bug quit swinging from the deck, get out of the tree, don’t try to hurdle over the bannister, don’t slide down the bannister either, OK let’s get the splinters out of your patootey. Done. Get back down, surely you are not going to do that again. Belly quit playing Battleship in the pool with the ducks, you are sinking them too fast. Lets just watch them swim. Let’s be calm, please be calm, start slowing down into something under 200mph. AGH Bug that is high enough in the tree, start coming back down. I don’t care if your (immaginary) friendly cat is up there, he needs to learn to come down on his own, Oh, well excuse me, I didn’t know it was a girl cat, that makes all the (eye roll) difference doesn’t it.

The time is now 8:30am

blur, argument, redirect, blur, cat fight, redirect, fight over a smile that belongs to Mr Potato Head, wish my smiles were that coveted, blur, another fight, more screaming, more pushing, another blur, crayons get eaten, playdough makes great hairstyling products, two metal forks on the glass top table make a maddening sound, balls get thrown in the house, plate falls off the wall…

repeat

repeat

repeat

The time is now 9pm

Silence. I can think now…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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Categories: children, General Junk, home life, kids, Outside Fun

3 replies

  1. And we wonder why at the end of the day it looks as though we got absolutely nothing done . . . but hey! You kept 2 precious little girls alive and cared for! “Take the panties off your head” – gave me a good laugh!

  2. Sister=brother, her=him, she=his, bug=G, Belly=N…*sigh*

  3. ugh. And I actually wonder why I’m tired. It’s rapid fire all day.

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