October 4, 2006

Bug and I were watching the Lion King and the part where Simba is an adult and he is speaking with his “father” I sat and bawled.(Quote below) If you really look deep into that part it is so moving. When his father tells him he has forgotten him, and then Simba begs his father not to leave. WOW!! How many times has our “Father” said that to us. And then we beg him to stand beside us in life. How long do we cling to the hurt part of our lives and not live up to the plan the God has for us. And by clinging to that we are not honoring him and acknowledging him as our father.

I can see so many times in my past that I have clung to the past and dishonored His plan for me. I have held resentment for my parents for more years than I can remember. It is so hard to let that go. And just when I think I have moved on, it resurfaces. So many times my anger has held me back from being a good person, so many times my mistrust in people has ruined relationships. How often have I intentionally sabotaged a relationship just because I didn’t want to be the one hurt. This was not God’s intention for me, he gave me a gentle spirit and I tarnish it by allowing my hurt to creep back into my life. I don’t know if the day will ever come that I am free of the grip this hurt has on me. Or maybe it is God’s intention that I hold onto that hurt so that I can become a better person. I do know that as I sit and brush my daughter’s hair and rock her to sleep, that it shows me what a mother truly is.  Maybe this is the blessing that follows the hurt. Being able to “justify” my pain by projecting the love I deserved to my daughter.

Here is the exact quote:
Adult Simba: That’s not my father, that’s just my reflection.
Rafiki: No, look harder.
[Simba’s reflection changes to that of his father]
Rafiki: You see? He lives in you.
Mufasa’s ghost: Simba.
Adult Simba: Father?
Mufasa’s ghost: Simba, you have forgotten me.
Adult Simba: No. How could I?
Mufasa’s ghost: You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself, Simba. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of Life.
Adult Simba: How can I go back? I’m not who I used to be.
Mufasa’s ghost: Remember who you are. You are my son and the one true king. Remember…
Adult Simba: She’s wrong. I can’t go back. What would it prove anyway? You can’t change the past. You said you’d always be there for me. But you’re not. It’s because of me. It’s my fault.
Adult Simba: You said you’d always be there for me! but you’re not and it’s because of me. It’s my fault.
Adult Simba: I know what I have to do. But going back will mean facing my past. I’ve been running from it for so long.
[Rafiki hits Simba on the head with his stick]
Adult Simba: Oww. Jeez… What was that for?
Rafiki: It doesn’t matter, it’s in the past.
Adult Simba: Yeah, but it still hurts.
Rafiki: Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it.

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